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THE
SOCIAL AND CONVIVIAL
TOAST-MASTER;
AND COMPENDIUM
OF
SENTIMENT.
LONDON :
C. DALY, 19, RED LION SQUARE.
1841.
PREFACE.
THE custom of " Toasting" our favourites ap-
pears to have had its rise in the reign of King
Charles II.
Dr. Johnson observes that the meaning of
the word at its first use, was " a celebrated wo-
man whose health is often drunk ;" and the rea-
son of her being so termed may be found in the
" Tatler" who says " It happened that on a
public day a celebrated beauty of those times
(King Charles IId's) was in the Cross Bath
(at Bath,) and one of the crowd of her admirers
took a glass of the water in which the fair one
stood, and drank her health to the company
There was in the place a gay fellow half fuddled,
who offered to jump in, and swore, though he
liked not the liquor he would have the Toast.
He was opposed in his resolution, yet this
whim gave foundation to the present honor which
is done to the lady we mention in our liquor,
who has ever since been called a Toast."
VI PREFACE.
The meaning of the word has however, of late
years, been considerably extended, although this
is the true meaning, and ought not to be appro-
priated to other than
The praise of beauty, honored most
By wise man's passion, gay man's toast;
"Which deck'd with all that land or sea afford
Are angels called and angel-like adored.
The phrase " Pledging" is referred by anti-
quaries to the practice of the Danes, when in
England, who frequently used to cut the throats
of the natives while drinking, although many in-
fer the custom to have originated from the death
of Edward the Martyr. The true meaning of the
word denotes to warrant or be surety to one that
he shall receive no harm while he is taking his
draught.
The custom of drinking or pledging healths
can be traced to the remotest ages of antiquity :
proofs of which may be found on reference to
many ancient writers and, if we mistake not,
even the Scriptures themselves contain some pas-
sages that appear to have an allusion to the sub-
ject. The ancients not only drank in honor of
'
PREFACE. VII
the Gods, they drank also in honor of their em-
perors, their heroes, their friends and their mis-
tresses. The Greeks saluted one another before
drinking in some appropriate speech, as " May
you long live,—To your health, my companion,"
&c. The Romans observed the like custom, and
were nothing behind in their modes of salu-
tation. Among others, " Propino tibi salutem,"
" Bene te," " Beneamicum," &c, were among
the most common.
The Christians of the olden time drank healths
in honor of the angels, the apostles and the mar-
tyrs. One historian asserts that the Scotch, in
less civilized times, never elected a bishop with-
out" having made proof of his powers on this head.
They presented him with the great cup of St.
Magnus, and whenever that was drunk off at a
draught, the people, transported with joy, clapped
their hands in full assurance that the episcopacy
could not but be happy.
Among the inhabitants of the northern regions
the country of Odin, Thor and Saturn, where con-
vivial meetings were formerly as frequent as we
believe them to be at the present day, the health
yiii PREFACE.
of the mighty warrior (whether he were absent
or present), that of the fair and red-haired maid,
and that of the true friend and valiant knight,
as well as of the giver of the feast, were never
omitted; and whenever any warlike expedition
was to be undertaken, town besieged or battle
fought, the heartfelt prayer for the success of
those engaged in the perilous enterprise was
never forgotten : and when the victory was won
the praises of those, by whose instrumentality it
had been gained, were drunk in brimming gob-
lets of sparkling mead, and bards and minstrels
joined in celebrating. in inspiring verse, the
deeds of heroes and of kings.
The bards may be termed the Toast-Masters
of those days: they gave the cue, and the com-
pany followed, till all the " choice spirits" of
the day had been successively toasted; and the
memories of the heroes of " the times of old"
were not only drowned in the ocean that flowed
from the gigantic cups that graced the fes-
tive board, but also in the brains of the hardy
warriors who, though never beaten in the field,
were obliged to " knock under" (the table) from
PREFACE. IX
the effects of the powerful beverage that had
been so freely circulated.
Many very curious and entertaining fragments
might be gleaned respecting these great con-
vivial entertainments, so prevalent amongst the
northern nations, by a reference to the Eyrbyggia
Saga and other works of the Danish historians.
The great mischief that resulted from them, was
the continual source which they proved of deadly
quarrels, murderous attacks and bloody rencon-
tres among the company who, notwithstanding
the affectionate way in which they drank to the
healths of others, too often forgot (when the li-
quor had fired the brain) the due respect they
should have paid to their own and to that of their
neighbours.
However, in this instance, we of the present
day are not a whit more cultivated than our
northern neighbours, for, it must be owned that,
in many instances, our own convivial meetings
often end in disastrous quarrels, from the too
frequent potential draughts that have been taken
in an evening's carouse, causing men to see with
four eyes instead of two; as the late lamented
PREFACE.
Elliston used to do when Drury Lane Theatre
was empty night after night, and he averred it
to be crowded to the ceiling.
In travelling eastward we find but little, res-
pecting this custom, worth noticing.
Your Turk, though forbidden to be so by his
prophet, is as great a wine-bibber as any Bac-
chanalian of old, (if he can but get it secretly),
but he is not naturally of a convivial disposition.
He takes his pipe, 'tis true, in company with
others; but what a company it is ! He will smoke
and drink coffee or sherbet for three hours at a
stretch, and not utter a sentence; wrapt up in
self he possesses no true enjoyment, but only
that which centres in self; he does not look on
his fellow man as a brother and, consequently,
has but little feeling or care for his comfort or
happiness. Public dinners, meetings or convivial
parties are things unknown in Turkey, but,
thanks to the present Sultan, those improve-
ments by which a Turk may be rendered a de-
cent member of society may be shortly expected
to be introduced.
It is unnecessary for our purpose to travel
PREFACE. XI
further, for we shall gain but little information by
the labour ; but shall return to our own little is-
land the " gem of the sea," where the love of
good eating and drinking is proverbial; where
conviviality abounds, and man meets his fellow
man as a brother ; where wit sparkles as the bot-
tle circulates, and where the mighty wine-god
sits enthroned the " observed of all observers;"
where thousands pay daily and nightly adoration
at his shrine; and he, in return, gives his richest
libations, to strengthen the nerves—open the
hearts as well as the purses, and cause good will
and brotherly regard among his worshippers.
In England the custom of drinking healths is
almost coeval with its first existence as a nation.
The well-known story of Vortigern and Rowena
is a proof of this.
England has been called a " Drinking Na-
tion," and truly so : nothing can be done without
" The Three Courses and a Dessert" How the
heart opens as the cork is drawn, and the spark-
ling juice ripples into the glass ! How the merry
jest and jibe, the cheerful toast and heartfelt sen-
timent go round, each succeeding one received
xii PREFACE.
with more zest and glee than the former ! How
the expanded hand of fellowship is held forth
even to an enemy! It is indeed a glorious sight
to see the joyous hilarity of a convivial meeting.
Our barons of old were men of the right sort,
with them there was no flinching. In the days
of yore
When the bright jest, the hearty joke was flung,
And the old halls with tipsy laughter rung,
the brimming flagons of ale warmed every heart
and braced up every sinew. From the peer to
the peasant, conviviality, carousal and enjoy-
ment, were the order of the day. Even the lordly
master of the mansion did not disdain the com-
pany of his serfs, but sat and drank with the
best of them, filling brimming flagons to the
healths of all around, and toasting the bright-
eyed maidens and bonny lasses of the village and
the vale. Our monarchs too were always men of
the right sort, from the time of the lion-hearted
Richard, not even forgetting " bonnie Bess,"
whose good old days were indeed days of gorgeous
gorging and glorious conviviality. " Crooked-
back Dick, ' " Bluff Hal," " Solemn Noll,'
PREFACE. xiii
and " Old Rowley," with more to boot, could
fight, wench and drink with the best of their sub-
jects; and even our own William the fourth,
(God bless him!) is not an inch behind them,
and we " his merry men all," can toast and sen-
timentalize, drink and be jolly, as Englishmen
always have done and, we hope, always will do,
" to the latest period of recording time."
We had intended to have offered our readers
some few anecdotes concerning celebrated Toast-
Masters, choice spirits, witty souls, who have
passed away from the festive scene, whose racy
wit and ready jests
Have kept the table in a roar,
And giv'n each glass a zest unknown before,
our space however warns us to be brief:
Need we speak of jesting Will Somers, laugh-
ing Johnnie Armstrong, witty Bald Archie,
quaint Tommy Popplowell, gay Frank Hay-
man, or roistering Natty Potts, or Cecey Hogge?
do not our readers know them and their works,
as well as we? They were free and easy fellows,
whose love of conviviality was unbounded, who
only existed at night and died with the first blush
XIV PREFACE.
of morning,—who drank and sang, toasted, sen-
timentalized, and jested " as the maggot bit,"
with peer and peasant, lord and boor,—to all
alike indifferent;—pleased with themselves, they
gave pleasure to others, letting loose the scin-
tillations of their wit on all around them, il-
lumining a dull horizon till it became a flood of
light and joy !
In the olden time, the well-known and face-
tious Joe Miller was the eye and tongue of every
club and convivial fraternity—full of the " true
attic salt" himself, he never failed to communi-
cate the infection to his company; and it has
been said, and we believe truly, that a night
spent in a party of which he was head and chief,
might be considered as an era in a man's life.
When his glass was for ever emptied, there died
one half of those coteries of jovial souls, " who
existed but in his smile, who lived but in
his laugh, and who, when his bottle was out,
vanished from the scene themselves. Their sun
had set, never to rise again!
Another fellow of " most excellent (but un-
fortunately rather prurient) fancy" was the gay,
PREFACE. xv
the mercurial Tom Browne, of whose fame as a
Toast-Master, clubbist, convivialist, and jester,
let his own works speak. His jests and witti-
cisms, are " standing jokes," and sometimes not
only make the eyes, but also the mouths of his
readers water. He was a man who, when
"upstanding and uncovered," at the head of the
board, gave the cue with such an arch leer,
knowing look and sparkling twinkle of the eye,
that convulsions of laughter, " loud guffaws of
glee," the honest explosions of the mirthful soul
rang through the night, and ascending into the
dull air of London streets and alleys, would
fright the " Charlies" of the time " from their
propriety," and alarm the peaceful sleeping ci-
tizen, who, starting from his bed, would cry out—
" there goes another of Tom Browne's !"
The following rules for Drinking Healths,
(used by the " Spendalls" of Charles the
Ist's time,) we extract from an old book, in our
possession, intitled " The Irish Hubbub, or the
English Hue and Cry," by Barnaby Rich, 1623.
" He that beginnes the health hath his prescrib-
XVI PREFACE.
ed orders; first, uncovering his head, he takes a
full cup in his hand, and setting his countenance
with a grave aspect, he craves for audience;
silence being once obtained hee beginnes to
breathe but the name peradventtire of some ho-
nourable personage that is worthy of a better
regard than to have his name pollutted at so un-
fitting a time amongst a company of drunkards;
but his health is drunk too, and he that pledges
must likewise off with his cap, kisse his fingers,
and bowing himself in signe of a reverend ac-
ceptance ; when the leader (or Toast-Master),
sees his follower thus prepared hee sups up his
breath, turns the bottom of the cup upwards, and,
in ostentation of his dexteritie, gives the cup a
fillip to make it crie " twango" And thus the
first scene is acted. The cup being replenished
to the breadth of a haire, he that is the pledge
must now beginne his part, and thus it goes
round throughout the whole company, provided
alwayes, by a canon set down by the founder,
there must be three at least still uncovered till
the health hath had the full passage : which is no
PREFACE. xvii
sooner ended but another beginnes again, he
drinks an health to his " Lady of little worth,"
or peradventure to his light heel'd mistress."
How much the enjoyment of a cheerful glass
(as a favourite dramatist observes) is heightened
when accompanied by a generous sentiment or
heartfelt toast, is well known to every lover of
rational conviviality. The circulation of the
grape is at once sanctioned and exalted by it:
drinking loses the name of intemperance, and
Bacchus, in addition to being the God of wine,
becomes the patron of social intercourse and the
inspirer of universal goodwill.
By the circulation of Toasts and Sentiments
under the influence of the rosy god, all the
warmer feelings of the heart are drawn forth and
increased; rancorous animosity is drowned in
the flowing bowl, and every care banished from
its magic circle. It is a praiseworthy practice of
making enjoyment the medium of propagating
good wishes and diffusing around us all the better
feelings of our own nature.
In all convivial parties the grand aim should
be to avoid drunkenness: it ruins health, spoils
xviii PREFACE.
the comfort and harmony of a whole evening, be-
gets strife and ill blood, and often renders the
friendship of a whole life a " thing of air."
We remember reading some excellent rules on this
subject, which may not be inappropriate here:
" When you feel particularly desirous of having
another glass leave off drinking, you have had
enough. When you look at a distant object and
appear to see two, leave off, you have had too
much. When you knock over your glass, spill
your wine upon the table, or are unable to recol-
lect the words of a song you have been in the
habit of singing for the last dozen years, leave
the company, you are getting troublesome. When
you nod in the chair, fall over the hearth-rug,
or lurch on your neighbour's shoulder, go to bed,
you are drunk
I
THE
TOAST-MASTER.
A toast to Britannia, the Empress of Isles,
Where Freedom inhabits, and Commerce still smiles.
Loyal and Patriotic.
A Venus born from ocean's bed—Britannia !
A lasting cement to all contending powers.
A lasting peace, or an honourable war.
A long cord, and a strong cord, to those who make
discord.
A revision of the code of criminal laws.
A speedy restoration of the rights of the people.
A speedy export to all the enemies of Britain,
without a drawback.
A cobweb pair of breeches, a porcupine saddle, a
hard trotting horse, and a long journey to the ene-
mies of Britain.
A health to those ladies who set the example of
wearing British productions.
A health to our English patriots.
A health to the friends of Caledonia.
A high Post to the enemies of ould Ireland.
Addition to our trade, multiplication to our manu-
factories, substraction to taxes, and reduction to
places and pensions.
Agriculture and its improvers.
Albion : the pride of the sea.
B
2 THE TOAST-MASTER.
All the societies associated for promoting the happi-
ness of the human race.
All the charitable institutions of Great Britain.
All the honest reformers of our country.
All our independent nobles and all noble hearts.
All the royal family.
Amidst the world's commotions may we ever be true
to ourselves.
An Englishman's birthright: trial by jury.
Annihilation to the trade of corruption.
Britain; and may the land of our nativity be ever
the abode of freedom, and the birth-place of heroes.
Britains' rights ; and may they never be invaded by
foreigners.
Britain's produce; may it never exceed her con-
sumption.
Briton's annals; may they never suffer a moral or
political plot.
British belles and British fashions.
British virtue; may it always find a protector but
never need one.
Britons in unity, and unity in Britain.
Brunswick's glory; and may it last to the end of
time.
Caledonia: the nursery of learning and the birth-
place of heroes.
Church and King.
Cork to the heels, cash to the pockets, courage to
the hearts, and concord to the head, of all those
who fight for Great Britain.
Confusion to all those who attempt to disunite the
interests of our country.
Confusion to those who barter the cause of their
country for ostentation, or sordid gain.
Confusion to those who wearing the mask of pa-
triotism pull it off, and desert the cause of liberty in
the hour of trial.
Confusion to those who are fond of it.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 3
Confusion to those despots who combine against the
liberties of mankind.
Community, unity, navigation, and trade.
Commerce universally extended,
And blood-stained war for ever ended.
Disappointment to all those who form expectations
of places and pensions on the ruin of their country.
Emancipation to the slave,
And liberty to the brave.
England, Scotland, and Ireland: may their union
remain undisturbed by plots or treachery to the
end of time.
England, home, and beauty.
English oak, and British valour.
Everlasting life to the man who gave the death-blow
to the slave-trade.
I England for ever, the land, boys, we live in.
Faith, in every kind of commerce.
Firmness in the senate, valour in the field, and for-
titude on the ocean.
Freedom all over the world.
Freedom to those that are oppressed, and bondage
to their oppressors.
Freedom to those who dare contend for it.
Great happiness to our friends; great sorrow to our
enemies.
Great Britain's rising star: the Princess Victoria.
Health to the king; prosperity to the people ; and
may the ministry direct their endeavours to the
public good rather than engage in party distinc-
tions.
He that holds his life as a debt to his country.
Holiness to our clergy, and humility to our rulers.
4 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Holy pastors, honest magistrates, and humane rulers.
Honor and affluence to the patrons of trade, liberty,
and property.
Here's a health unto his majesty,
Conversion to his enemies,
And he that will not pledge his health,
I wish him neither wit nor wealth,
Nor yet a rope to hang himself.
Humanity to all created beings; especially to our
own species, whether white or black.
Improvement to the inventions of our country.
Improvement to our arts, and invention to our ar-
tists.
Ireland : sympathy to her wrongs, and a determina-
tion to redress them.
King, lords, and commons.
Long live the king that seeks his people's love.
Labour's true reward to every Briton — Content and
pleasure.
Laurel-water to the secret enemies of the constitu-
tion.
Liberty, property, security, and resistance of op-
pression.
Liberty : may it never degenerate into licentious-
ness.
May every future king of England be as patriotic as
William the fourth.
May the king never want health nor his subjects
obedience.
May our king prove a father to his people, and meet
with his children's love.
May the skin of our foes be turned into parchment,
and our rights be written thereon.
May our commanders have the eye of a Hawke, and
the heart of a Wolfe.
May the liberties of Englishmen never be clipped
by the shears of bad economy.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 5
May the king ever live in the hearts of his subjects.
May the sword of justice be swayed by the hand of
mercy.
May taxation be lessened annually.
May the Gallic cock be always clipped by British
valour if he crows too loud.
May the seeds of Dissension never find growth in
the soil of Great Britain.
May our statesmen ever possess the justice of a
More, and the wisdom of a Bacon.
May the meanest Briton scorn the highest slave.
May the love" of country be imprinted in every Bri-
ton's breast.
May he who has neither wife, mistress, nor estate
in Great Britain, never have a share in the govern-
ment of it.
May the dispensers of justice ever be impartial.
May his Majesty's ministers ever have wisdom to
plan our institutions, and energy and firmness to
support them.
May the interests of the king and kingdom never be
thought distinct.
May French principles never corrupt English man-
ners.
May he who plots the nation's downfal get what he
deserves,—a halter.
May the enemies of Great Britain and Ireland never
meet a friend in either country.
May the nation that plots against another's liberty
or prosperity fall a victim to its own intrigues.
May Great Britain and Ireland be ever equally dis-
tinguished by their love of liberty and true pat-
riotism.
May we never know any difference between England
and Ireland than St. George's channel.
May the worth of the nation be ever inestimable.
May every succeeding century maintain the princi-
ples of the glorious Revolution, enjoy the bless-
ings of them, and transmit them to future ages,
unimpaired and improved.
6 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our love for our kings know no bounds nor our
fear of them need any.
May British valour shine when every other light is
out.
May the eagles of the continent never build their
nests in this little Island.
May the cry of war ne'er more
Be heard upon our native shore.
May the hospitable hearts of the sons of Blunder
never be seduced from their attachment to the con-
stitution.
May the whole universe be incorporated in one city
and every inhabitant be presented with the free-
dom.
May the populace of our country be remarkable for
their loyalty and domestic happiness.
May the pleasure of Britons be pure as their breezes,
and their virtues firm as their oaks.
May the sharp-pointed thorn of the Thistle and Rose
Be ever the portion of Great Britain's foes.
May our country be as it ever has been, a secure asy-
lum to the unfortunate and oppressed.
May our sons be honest and brave and our daughters
modest and fair.
May those who would revel in the ruin of Great Bri-
tain or her daughters dance in a hempen neckcloth.
May loyalty flourish for ever.
May the annals of Great Britain never suffer a moral
or political plot.
May those who root up the tree of liberty be crushed
by its fall.
May our councils be wise and our commerce increase;
And may we ever experience the blessings of peace.
May he who betrays his own country know the want
of a country to shelter in.
May the growth of the Rose, Thistle, and Shamrock,
never be prevented by the Fleur-de-lys.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 7
May the sins of our fathers descend upon our foes.
May the adjective, victorious, be ever joined to the
substantive, Britain.
May the frowns of avarice never disfigure the face of
a Briton.
May the productions of Britain's isle never exceed
its consumption.
May every Briton be loyal and find a loyal protec-
tion.
May the rights of Great Briton never be invaded by
foreigners.
May the protecting arm of the civil power always
defend our rights.
May all the governments of the world speak the will,
and promote the happiness of the governed.
May the freedom of election be preserved, the trial
by jury maintained, and the liberty of the press
secured to the latest posterity.
May all martial and impolitic taxes be repealed.
May truth and liberty prevail throughout the world.
May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and
every human being partake of its fruits.
May all mankind make free to enjoy the blessings of
liberty, but never take the liberty to subvert the
principles of freedom.
May the laws never be misconstrued.
May the weight of our taxes never bend the back of
our credit.
May Britons never have a tyrant to oppose, either in
church or state.
May the sons of liberty marry the daughters of vir-
tue.
May Britons never suffer invasion, nor invade the
rights of others.
May the miseries of war be banished from all en-
lightened nations.
May our enemies never taste the union dish — roast
beef, cakes, puddings, and potatoes.
May our trade and manufactures be unrestrained by
the fetters of monopoly.
8 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the whole world become more enlightened and
civilised.
May every civil government be founded on the na-
tural rights of man.
May religious and civil liberty always go hand in
hand.
May all civil distinctions among men be founded up-
on public utility.
May neither precedent nor antiquity be a sanction
to errors pernicious to mankind.
May England like a tennis ball, rebound the harder
she is struck.
May the blessings of freedom be equally bestowed.
May increasing success crown the island of traders,
And its shores prove the grave of all foreign invaders.
May the olive of peace renovate the sinking fund of
the British nation.
May the enemies of Great Britain be destitute of
beef and claret.
May the health of our sovereign keep pace with the
wishes of his people.
May every future king of England be as virtuous as
George the third.
May the devil ride rough-shod over the enemies of
the constitution.
May the thorns of England's rose
Tear the bosom of her foes.
May the interests of the king and the kingdom never
be thought distinct.
May the king live for the people and the people for
the king.
May the blessings of peace continue to us the bless-
ings of plenty.
May " Invasion" prove " the Devil to Pay" among
our foes, and " John Bull" be always able to say
" Who's afraid?"
May we ever have a sufficiency for ourselves, and a
trifle to spare for our friends.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 9
May our jurors ever possess sufficient courage to up-
hold their verdict.
May the plotters of a nation's destruction fall into
their own snare.
May peace o'er Britain spread her wing,
And commerce fill her ports with gold;
May arts and science comfort bring,
And liberty her sons enfold.
May kings and subjects reign in each other's hearts
by love.
May we never cease to deserve well of our country.
May we ever honestly uphold our rights.
May revolutions never cease while tyranny exists.
May the brave never want protection.
May the liberties of the people be immortal.
May the brow of the brave be adorned by the hand
of beauty.
May the miseries of war never more have existence
in the world.
May the dawn of liberty in the New World be follow-
ed by its meridian splendour.
May the laurels of Great Britain never be blighted.
May we never find danger lurking on the borders of
security.
May we always look forward to better times, but
never be discontented with the present.
May we never find fault with old England's ground,
If we do, may reward in new England be found.
May we never engage in a bad cause, and never fly
from a good one.
May the fruits of England's soil never be denied to
her children.
May domestic slavery be abolished throughout the
world.
May old England's sons, the Americans, never forget
their mother.
May old England, a world within herself, reign safe
for ever in her floating towers.
10 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Our Father-land: may it ever be the soil of liberty.
Our country—may it continue to be the land of li-
berty to the end of the world.
O! long life to the land of dear liberty's joys,
The land of our life, and where pleasure ne'er cloys,
Where the women can love, and the men can all fight,
The latter all day, and the former all night.
Where they've hearts for the girls, and arms for
their foes,
And both are triumphant as every one knows.
Our beloved Sovereign the King.
Our nobles : and may they ever be endowed with the
noblest quality of man—honesty.
Old Ireland : and may the hospitable hearts of the
sons of blunder never be seduced from their attach-
ment to the constitution.
Oblivion to all party rage.
Our late monarch, George the Third, and may his me-
mory ever live in the hearts of his people,
Our constitution as settled at the revolution.
Our native land: its laws and liberties.
Peace and plenty.
Pride: may it be exterminated both in church and
state.
Prosperity : and may it ever be the rising-sun of
England.
Religion without priestcraft, and politics without
party.
Short shoes and long corns to the enemies of Great
Britain.
Success to the trade and manufactures of our country.
Success to that government which prefers armed ci-
tizens to armed slaves.
Success to our army, success to our fleet,
May our foes be compell'd to bend at our feet.
Short parliaments and unbiassed electors.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 11
Success to the industrious peasantry of Great Britain
and Ireland, and may they profit by their industry.
Success to our arms by sea and land.
St. George, England, and the rose.
Success to the brave,
And freedom to the slave.
The King and Queen : and may they live long and
be happy.
The King: success to his arms by sea and land,
The King: and may true Britons never be without
his likeness in their pockets.
The King: may he outlive his ministers, and may
they live long.
The king : may he always merit the esteem and affec-
tion of a people always ready to bestow the meed of
gratitude on those who deserve it.
The land we live in : may he who don't like it leave it.
The friends of religion, liberty, and science, in every
part of the globe.
Toleration : and the liberty of the press.
To the immortal memory of the English Barons, who
by their glorious exertions totally frustrated the
designs of the tyrant John, and caused him to
ratify the Magna Charter.
Trial by jury.
The memory of Alfred: and may every man in power
while he admires his actions learn to imitate them.
The society for the abolition of the slave-trade.
The three great generals in power : general peace,
general plenty, and general satisfaction.
The glorious revolution which placed a William on
the throne: and when his successors hazard another
revolution, may they be its first and only victims.
The Bank of England's passport to travel with, and
the king's picture for a companion.
The king's head in the Poultry ; and may every one
have a chop at it.
The birth-place of wit, and hospitality's home,
dear Ireland.
12 THE TOAST MASTER.
The universal freedom and interest of mankind.
The constitution of Great Britain and Ireland: and
may it flourish to the latest posterity.
The royal family.
The Queen : may she stand as the oak, and her ene-
mies fall as the leaves.
The royal princes : may they be as much distinguish-
ed for their virtue, as for their high birth.
The commerce of Great Britain and Ireland.
The true Briton's three favourites : peace, plenty, and
the father of his people.
The abolition of domestic slavery all round the globe.
The universal advancement of the arts and sciences.
The rose, thistle, and shamrock : may they flourish
by the common graft of union.
The land of our fore-fathers: may it always continue
free.
To all honest reformers of our country.
The liberty of the press, and success to its defenders.
The English rose : may it never be grafted on a fo-
reign stock.
The friends of religion, liberty, and science, in every
part of the globe.
The white cliffs of Old England : may they stand for
ever.
The protectors of commerce and the promoters of
charity in the city of London.
The universal rights of all mankind.
The man that loves his King and nation,
And shuns each vile association.
That trusts his honest deeds to light,
Nor meets in dark cabals at night.
The roast beef of Old England.
The foe of the tyrant, the friend of the slave—Great
Britain.
The majesty and liberty of the people.
The spot of all spots that owns no one's controlling,
The sunny isle round which the green waves are
rolling.
13
Naval and Military.
May our Sailors for over be lords of the main,
And our Soldiers their foes heat again and again;
May our Cannon be heard, and our flag be unfurled,
And our Ships spread our name all over the world.
All our brave allies who so nobly assisted us in the
late sanguinary war.
A broadside of comfort to every distressed seaman
and every distressed heart.
All ships at sea, and all sea-ships.
All those who have fought and bled for Great Britain.
All hearty messmates ; and may we never want a mess
or a mate.
An army to stand but not a standing army.
A round dozen to all pirates.
A cargo of spirits to our brave tars.
A British seaman's toast: Success to every young
cockboat who ventures on the ocean in defence of
Great Britain.
A blow up to all fire-ships.
A tear of regret to the memory of every brave sailor
who finds a watery grave.
A health to those who are away at sea.
A speedy calm to the storms of life.
A twelvemonth's toothache to all those who snarl at
and would destroy our military glory.
After we have weathered the storm of life may we
drop quietly and gratefully into the harbour of
eternal bliss.
14 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Britain's sheet-anchor: her tars and wooden walls.
Britain's pride and the world's wonder : her navy.
Chelsea Hospital and its supporters.
Commerce and trade always protected.
And British seamen never neglected.
Captain Broke and his brave seamen.
England's castles : her men of war.
England expects that every man will do his duty.
England : the anchor and hope of the world.
Every soldier, his light; and every deserter, a halter.
England's bull-dogs : may they ever be ready to re-
ceive the enemy in good style.
Field-marshall the duke of Wellington ; and our gal-
lant countrymen who fought under him.
General Frost; and the frightful climate that cooled
the courage of Bonaparte and sent him home in a
sledge.
Greenwich Hospital: and health to its supporters.
Good ships, fair winds, and brave seamen.
Grape shot to our friends, and chain shot to our ene-
mies.
Girls for sailors, and sailors well stored for girls.
Health, rhino, and a snug berth to every British
tar.
Here's to the tar a pleasing sail,
And a brisk and favouring gale.
Health, wealth, and ready rhino
To every tar that you and I know.
In the course of duty may we ever steer right sea-
ward.
In the voyage of life may content be our cabin-pas-
senger.
NAVAL AND MILITARY . 15
In the performance of our duty may we never run
foul of our neighbour's comforts or interests.
If the enemy's flotilla should come half-seas over
May the bull-dogs of Britain salute them at Dover.
Long may every foe tremble and every friend rejoice
at the arrival of a British fleet.
Lots of beef and oceans of grog.
Lieutenant-General Sir T. Maitland and the staff of
Ireland.
Lord Cochrane; and success to South American in-
dependence.
Lord Howe; and the glorious first of June.
May the tar who has lost a leg, an arm, or any of
his members in defence of his country be re-mem-
bered by his brave countrymen.
May the broken tar always find a haven ready to re-
ceive him.
May the boat of pleasure always be steered by the
pilot reason,
May the arms borne by a soldier never be used in a
bad cause.
May the British soldier never turn his bayonet
against his own countrymen.
May the laurel of Britain never fade through age, or
be blighted by cruelty to a fallen enemy, or be ob-
tained otherwise than by true honour.
May the ensigns of the British navy always prove
the harbinger of dismay and defeat to our enemies,
and of confidence and security to our allies.
May the tar who loses one eye in defence of his
country never see distress with the other.
May British soldiers and cowardice always be at war,
May our officers and tars be valiant and brave,
And our admirals loyal and true,
May they die by their guns, Britons' rights to
maintain,
And fight for the honor of British true blue.
16 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May good British hands have true British hearts.
May those who escape the quicksands of jealousy
never run on the shoals of indifference.
May we always disdain to roam abroad for that true
merit and genius which may always be met with
and ought to be encouraged at home.
May our seamen, from the captain to the cabin-boy,
be like our ships, hearts of oak.
May gales of prosperity waft us to the port of hap-
piness.
More hard-ships for Britain, and less to her enemies.
May the memory of the noble Nelson inspire every
seaman to do his duty.
May the pilot of reason guide us to the harbour of rest.
May every British seaman fight bravely, and be re-
warded honourably.
May no true son of Neptune ever flinch from his gun.
May rudders govern, and ships obey.
May no son of the ocean be devoured by his mother.
May our brave tars never be in the fleet (prison.)
May our Navy never know defeat but by name.
May the British thunder
Be the world's wonder.
May the British thunder, to the enemies of our coun-
try, appear as dreadful as the bolts of Jove.
May our sailors for ever prove lords of the main,
And the spirit of Nelson revive once again.
May the bark of pleasure be steered by the pilot of
reason.
May the gifts of fortune never cause us to steer out
of our latitude.
May our tars still keep their timbers together, and
the rotten planks of mutiny never disgrace the rud-
der of their understanding.
May wisdom be our pilot, and discretion our rudder,
At the squalls of this life, then we never need shudder.
May our admirals always act admirably.
NAVAL AND MILITARY. 17
May British hearts be like their ships—hearts of oak.
May the walls of each ship be more callous than
Troy,
And our brave tars' exertions restore peace and joy.
May we never want a Nelson to show the foe we can
be-at them with one hand.
May our enemies be pickled in the brine that pre-
serves Old England.
May the offspring of the brave tar who falls in de-
fence of his country, never know the want of a
protector and a home.
May the tars of old England triumphantly sail,
And over her enemies always prevail.
May the wounded and disabled seaman never be com-
pelled to depend on charity for support.
May the example of our heroes of the present day
"act as a stimulus to future ages.
May each soldier of England a bright aegis bear,
To defend them from treachery's dangerous snare ;
And whilst victory's laurels hang high o'er their
head,
May they pity the vanquished, and honour the
dead.
May every British officer possess Wolfe's conduct
and courage, but not meet with his fate.
May the soldier never fall a sacrifice but to glory.
May the enemy's flag be surmounted by the British
standard.
May the army of Great Britain never feel dismayed
at its enemies.
May the brow of the brave never want a wreath of
laurel to adorn it.
May the brave soldier who never turned his back to
the enemy, never have a friend turn his back to
him.
May bronze and medals not be the only reward of the
brave companions of the brave Wellington,
c
18 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the laurels of Great Britain never be blighted.
May no rotten members infect the whole corps.
May all weapons of war be used for warlike purpo-
ses only.
May all those who are engaged in defence of their
country, be more distinguished by honour and cou-
rage than by red coats and clean accoutrements.
May the army of Great Britain feel dismay at the
army of England.
May the British Mars always conquer the French
Hercules.
May we never be stranded at cuckold's point.
May light breezes waft us safely but not rapidly to
the haven of future felicity.
May Davy's locker be filled with growlers and grum-
blers.
Marshal Beresford; and the brave Portuguese.
May our cargo spread charity where there is need;
On our mess may the poor and the indigent feed.
May we e'er keep from envy our cabin so clear,
And may temperance stand at the rudder and steer.
May English fortitude and courage ever mock at dan-
ger.
May all battles fought in liberty's cause be repaid
with freedom and peace.
May the tar who has been tempest-tost at sea, al-
ways find a welcome on his native shore.
May success and seaman's cheer
Glad the jovial buccaneer.
Manliness, merit, true friendship and love, to every
British sailor.
May we ever ply industry's oars for health and fame,
And on the keel of our hearts implant a good name;
To honesty's compass may we be always bent,
And ride to the coast of perpetual content.
May our maritime rights never be invaded.
NAVAL AND MILITARY. 19
May every ship-wrecked seaman be blessed on a
happier shore.
May the soldier never forget the duty of a citizen;
nor use his bayonet but in the right place.
May those bright laurels never fade with years,
Whose leaves are watered by a nation's tears.
May all mutinous spirits make no-man's land, skulk
through Lubber's Hole, and at last be laid in the
dead sea.
May every honest man get to windward of false bay,
bring up in cape clear, and bespeak a snug berth in
the next world.
May we die at our guns ere we yield to the foe.
May the British flag ever fly at the main.
May every seaman steer, where honour points the
prow.
May the storm of life be followed by snug moorings.
May England, a world within herself, reign safe
within her floating towers.
May the bark of friendship never founder on the
rock of deceit.
Nelson's hands: the tars of old England.
Neptune's favourites : British tars.
Our naval affairs well managed.
Old England's wooden walls.
Oh long may the deeds of the hero be known,
As the pride of the people as well as the throne ;
And while justice exists, may the laurel of fame
Crown Great Britain's king, and great Wellington's
name.
Pretty frigates well rigged, and jolly boys to man
them.
Riches to the widows and orphans of seamen.
Safe arrivals to our homeward and outward-bound
fleets.
20 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Saturday night at sea.
Sir Home Popham : and a pop-home to all enemies.
Should the French come to Dover, may they miss-
Deal in their landing.
Success to the fair for manning the navy.
Spain, and her new constitution.
Soldiers, sailors, and all jolly fellows.
The British navy : may it ever sail on a sea of glory,
and wafted by the gales of prosperity, guided by
the compass of honour, enter the port of victory.
The Waterloo heroes; and may the widows and chil-
dren of those who fell in that battle, never feel dis-
tress through their death.
The duke of York, and the staff of Great Britain.
The British army : may its distinguishing character-
istics always be, fortitude in the hour of disaster,
courage in the hour of danger, and mercy in the
hour of victory.
The sea: and may it always bring a spring tide of joy.
The tar that sticks like pitch to his duty.
The foes well tarred, and our tars well feathered.
The world's check-string: the British navy.
The floating castles of Britain ; and health to their in-
habitants.
The unconquered navy of Great Britain ; and success
to its champions.
The immortal memory of Lord NELSON ; and may
every British admiral follow his example.
The wind that blows, the ship that goes, and the lass
that loves a sailor.
The sailor's reward : a safe shelter in the harbour of
Venus.
The port of Leith.
The battle of Trafalgar ; and may every brave fellow
who met his death in that glorious action, meet an
eternal reward.
The patriotic committee at Lloyd's; and the friends
that support it.
The truly brave and the truly good.
NAVAL AND MILITARY. 21
The world's wonder and envy, and Great Britain's
pride: her navy.
The British trio : Wellington, Hill, and Graham.
The soldier's boast: an unsullied honour.
The marquis of Huntly: and the brave 42nd regi-
ment.
The earl of Hopetown ; and the gallant 92nd regiment.
The Greeks: and may they never again fall under
Turkish bondage.
The modern Achilles, not the bronze in Hyde Park.
The naval promoters of all secret expeditions.
The mariner's safe return.
The Oxford Blues: that made the Cuirassiers look
black.
The Scotch Greys : that made the Eagles look black.
The Life Guards : that washed out in the blood of
Waterloo the blots of Piccadilly.
The battle of Maida, where inspired by Hope, the
British bayonet proved the invincibles vincible.
The words of the militia act: a standing force drawn
out and embodied.
The Highland bonnet: and those who wear it.
The heroes who fought for liberty in Scotland : may
they never be forgotten.
The memory of Scotland's heroes.
The army, the navy and those they protect.
The memory of a great general, and splendid ge-
nius, though ambitious, and tyrannic: Napoleon
Bonaparte.
The sweet little cherub that sits up aloft to keep watch
for the life of poor Jack.
The heroes who contend for freedom.
The British tars : and more feeling to those whom
they have protected.
The glorious cause of the Greeks.
The docks and yards that man the navy.
The port below Brest harbour.
The prince of navigation: Captain Cooke.
To him that goes to sea, fights at sea, dies at sea,
and comes home in good spirits.
'
22 THE TOAST-MASTER.
To the memory of Sir Thomas Picton, and all our
brave countrymen who fell at Waterloo.
The pilot that weathered the storm.
To the memory of Sir John Moore, and all the brave
fellows who fell with him in the action of Corun-
na : and may their gallant conduct stimulate every
British soldier in the hour of danger.
The tar's sheet-anchor : hope.
To the memory of Sir Ralph Abercromby; and may
the laurels which Scotland gained when he fell,
bloom to the latest ages untarnished by any of her
future warriors.
To the memory of all brave soldiers who fall in de-
fence of their country.
When honour is to be decided by the sword, may it
never find its way to the heart.
When death comes upon us and shews us his face,
May we never shrink from the unequal race.
But may we bear off to the harbour above,
Where dwells the chief Captain of mercy and love.
While Scotch, Irish, and English, compose the
bold crew
Of Great Britain ; to loyalty, justice, and liberty
true ;
While the standard united from her mast-head is
unfurl'd,
May she ride freedom's three-decker,
The glory and hope of a wondering world.
Victory's laurel : may it ever crown the heads of Bri-
tons.
Waterloo : may the victory gained that day never be
tarnished by future defeat.
§3
Masonic.
Let us toast every brother, both ancient and young.
Who bridles his passion and governs his tongue.
A proper application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we
may measure out and husband our time wisely.
All regular lodges.
All noblemen and right worshipful brothers who have
been grand masters.
All the friends of the craft.
All faithful and true brothers.
All free-born sons of the ancient and honourable craft.
All brothers who have been grand masters.
As we meet upon the level, may we part upon the
square.
Every brother who keeps the key of knowledge from
intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a worthy
brother.
Every worthy brother who was at first duly prepar-
ed, and whose heart still retains an awful regard to
the three great lights of masonry.
Every brother who maintains a consistency in love,
and sincerity in friendship.
Golden eggs to every brother, and goldfinches to our
lodges.
Honour and influence to every public-spirited bro-
ther.
May the lodges in this place be distinguished for
love, peace, and harmony.
24 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our actions as masons be properly squared.
May all free-masons be enabled to act in a strict con-
formity to the rules of their order.
May the brethren of our glorious craft be ever distin-
guished in the world by their regular lives, more
than by their gloves and aprons.
May every worthy brother who is willing to work
and labour through the day, be happy at night
with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass.
May masonry flourish until nature expire,
And its glories ne'er fade till the world is on fire.
May concord, peace, and harmony, subsist in all re-
gular lodges, and always distinguish free-masons.
May every brother learn to live within the compass,
and watch upon the square.
May the prospect of riches never induce a mason to
do that which is repugnant to virtue.
May peace, harmony, and concord, subsist among
free-masons, and may every idle dispute and fri-
volous distinction be buried in oblivion.
May the square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the
conduct of every brother.
May masonry prove as universal as it is honourable
and useful.
May the morning have no occasion to censure the
night spent by free-masons.
May every brother have a heart to feel, and a hand
to give.
May covetous cares be unknown to free-masons.
May we be more ready to correct our own faults
than to publish the errors of a brother.
May every mason participate in the happiness of a
brother.
May discord, party rage, and insolence, be for ever
rooted out from among masons.
May all free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of
virtue.
May the hearts of free-masons agree, although their
heads should differ.
MASONIC. 25
May all free-masons live in love, and die in peace.
May the gentle spirit of love animate the heart of
every mason.
May every free-mason be distinguished by the inter-
nal ornament of an upright heart.
May every free-mason have so much genuine philo-
sophy, that he may neither be too much exalted
with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much deject-
ed with the frowns of adversity.
May the brethren in this place be united to one an-
other by the bond of love.
May the frowns of resentment be unknown among us.
May we never rashly believe any report which is
prejudicial to a brother.
May the conduct of masons be such as to convince
the world they dwell in light.
May no free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction.
May love animate the heart of every mason.
May every brother who is regularly entered be in-
structed in the morals of masonry.
May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever dis-
tinguish the brethren of the ancient craft.
May we never condemn that in a brother which we
would pardon in ourselves.
May every brother use the mallet in knocking off
those superfluous passions that degrade the man.
May our conversation be such, that by it youth may
find instruction, women modesty, the aged respect,
and all men civility.
May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of
domestic contentment.
May the foundation of every regular lodge be solid,
its buildings sure, and its members numerous and
happy.
May every free-mason have health, peace, and
plenty.
May every free-mason find constancy in love, and
sincerity in friendship.
May the free-mason's conscience be sound, though
his fortune be rotten.
26 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May temptation never conquer a free-mason's virtue.
May our evening's diversion bear the morning's re-
flection.
May the mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may
not be ashamed to take a retrospective view of it.
May every mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to
have an approved monitor.
May every society instituted for the promotion of
virtue flourish.
May the lives of all free-masons be spent in acts of
true piety highly seasoned with tranquillity.
May honor and honesty distinguish the brethren.
May virtue ever direct our actions with respect to
ourselves, justice to those with whom we deal,
mercy, love, and charity, to all mankind.
May no free-mason wish for more liberty than con-
sti^utes happiness, nor more freedom than tends to
the public good.
May the cares which haunt the heart of the covetous,
be unknown to the free-mason.
May no free-mason desire plenty, but with the be-
nevolent view to relieve the indigent.
May the deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-
son to abhor it in himself.
May all free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets
of freedom.
May hypocrisy, faction, and strife, be for ever root-
ed from every lodge.
Our royal brother the king, and the royal and ancient
craft.
Prosperity to masons and masonry.
Relief to all indigent brethren.
The grand lodge of England.
The grand lodge of Scotland.
The grand lodge of Ireland.
The female friends of free-masons.
The masters and wardens of all regular lodges.
To the memory of him who first planted the vine.
MASONIC. 27
To the perpetual honour of free-masons.
To the memory of the Tyrian artist.
To the secret and silent.
To the innocent and faithful craft.
To him that did the temple rear,
Who lived and died within the square,
And lies interred there's none know where,
But those who master-masons are.
To all masons who walk by the line.
To all who live within the compass and square.
To the increase of perpetual friendship and peace
among the ancient craft.
To all the kings, princes, and potentates, who pro-
pagate or protect the royal art.
To all the fraternity round the globe.
To all well-disposed masons.
To our royal most worshipful Master—the Duke of
Sussex.
To all free-born sons of the ancient and honourable
craft.
To all ancient free-masons, wherever dispersed.
To all those who steer their course by the three great
lights of masonry.
To him who first the world began.
To the memory of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and
other noble artists.
To masons, and to masons' bairns,
And all the fair with wit and charms
Who bless the favoured masons' arms.
The absent brethren of this lodge.
To our next happy meeting.
To the ancient sons of peace.
To all upright and pure masons.
To every pure and faithful heart
That still preserves the secret art.
To all social free-masons.
To all true masons and upright,
Who saw the east where rose the light.
28 THE TOAST-MASTER.
To masonry, friendship, and love.
To the nation's wealth and glory.
To each faithful brother, both ancient and young,
Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue.
The absent brethren of this lodge.
The heart which conceals, and the tongue which ne-
ver reveals.
The keystone of the masonic arch.
The mason who knows the true value of his tools.
To the king and craft.
To all true and faithful brothers.
To all the brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy.
To all firm friends of the faithful craft.
The three great lights of masonry.
To all those who regulate their conduct by the square,
plumb-line, and level.
To every brother who has a heart to feel and a heart
to give.
To every brother the four comforts of life : love, li-
berty, health, and contentment.
Come, fill up a bumper and let it go round,
May mirth and good fellowship always abound,
And may the world see
That free-masonry
Doth teach honest hearts to be jovial and free.
29
Bacchanalian.
Merry have we bet, and merry have we been,
Merry may we part, and merry meet again.
All healths round the wrekin.
A friend; and a bottle to give him.
A bottle at night, and business in the morning.
A drop of good stuff, and a snug social party,
To spend a dull evening, gay, social, and hearty.
A mirth-inspiring bowl.
A hearty supper, a good bottle, and a soft bed, to
every man who fights the battles of his country.
A friend in every glass—a mistress in every bowl.
A full belly, a heavy purse, and a light heart.
Beauty, wit, and wine.
Cheerfulness in our cups, content in our minds, and
competency in our pockets.
Champaigne to our real friends, and real pain to our
sham friends.
Clean glasses and old corks.
Full bags, a fresh bottle, and a beauty.
Good humour; and may it ever smile at our board.
Good wine and good company to the lovers of reason-
able enjoyment.
30 THE TOAST -MASTER
May our love of the glass never make us forget de-
cency.
May good fortune resemble the bottle and bowl,
And stand by the man who can't stand by himself.
May we act with reason when the bottle circulates.
May we never want wine, nor a friend to partake of
May the juice of the grape enliven each soul,
And good humour preside at the head of each
bowl.
May the moments of mirth be regulated by the dial
of reason. -
May mirth exalt the feast.
May the votaries of Venus be united with Bacchus.
May we bury our sorrows in the friendly draught.
May we never want a friend to cheer us, or a bottle
to cheer him.
May we always get mellow with good wine.
May we never be drunk at night nor dry in the
morning.
May Bacchus us mortals in pleasure e'er bind,
And shower his gifts for the good of mankind.
May we drink little and drink long.
May we drown in wine the greybeard—Care,
And smother in smoke the fiend—Despair.
May we always be able to regale an old friend with
a cask of old wine.
May friendship draw the cork, and love the curtain.
May we always mingle friendship with the cup.
May no care disturb the soul,
May no mortal man repine.
May we fill deep enough the bowl,
And all our cares be drowned in wine.
May we prize an old friend and love an old wife.
May every good fellow be found in port, and all bad
ones be obliged to sherry off.
BACCHANALIAN. 31
May wine never prove the cause of strife.
May wine never be the foe of love but always be Cu-
pid's dearest boast.
May we — like the earth — drink deep and yet be
thirsty.
May we drink all day and revel all night.
May we always be prepared for a world of pure spirits.
May wine always be the whetstone of wit.
May we never be out of spirits.
May we fill the bumper fair,
And may every drop we sprinkle
Upon the brow of care
Smooth away a wrinkle.
May we be always enabled to knock down gay Bac-
chus before he knocks us up.
May wine make cowards brave.
May we after swallowing good things be always
troubled with a bad digestion, so as to throw them
up again.
May merry-minded men meet many modest marriage-
able maids.
May fortune fill the cup where charity guides the
hand.
Now raise high the goblet, its virtues revere,
Let its praises in high-swelling numbers ascend ;
May it be the cement that binds us to the fair,
And the bond which unites the warm heart to a
friend.
Our heads cool
Our feet warm
And a glass of good liquor
To do us no harm.
Old wine and young women—the one corked and the
other uncorked.
Push round the glass boys, and be jolly,
Nor heed the pedant's idle stuff,
Whether 'tis wisdom or whether 'tis folly
'Tis pleasure boys, and that's enough.
32 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Solitary confinement to unsocial fellows.
Sunshine and good humour all the world over.
Social comfort to our social friends.
The lip and the glass and the merry good fellow
Who's always good company when he gets mellow.
The heart that fills as the bottle empties.
The right end of life,—Live and be jolly.
Three cheers for the man who first planted the vine.
The grand summum bonum of life—a bumper of wine.
The oftener wine is tasted may it be liked the better.
To our next merry meeting.
To our absent friends.
The spirit of the bowl.
To our social friends, all round the table.
The flowing bowl.
The barrel of old humming ale.
The joys of music, love, and wine.
The votaries of Bacchus and Venus; and may they
ever be united.
Wine to strengthen friendship and light the flame of
love.
Wine and women ; and may we always have a taste
for both.
Wine, women, and wit.
Wreathe the bowl with flowers of soul
The brightest, wit can find us ;
We'll take a flight towards heaven to-night
And leave dull earth behind us.
Wine : the parent of friendship, composer of strife,
The soother of sorrow, the blessing of life.
Wine: the spring-tide of life and the fuel of love.
Wine : for there's no medicine like it.
Wine : the bond that cements the warm heart to a
friend.
Wine and women : may we ever love them dearly.
Wine, women, and wassail.
33
.
Amatory.
To love and to woman our next Toast shall be,
For a desert is life, deprived of their joys;
And may we a heaven on earth ever see
In the virtue that breathes and the love that ne'er cloys
Then to woman, dear woman, our best wishes ever,
And may hearts once united be separate, never !
All that love can give and sensibility enjoy.
Artless love, and disinterested friendship.
A speedy union to every lad and lass.
Beauty without affectation, and virtue without de-
ceit.
Beauty, innocence, and modest merit.
Beauty's best companion—Modesty.
Charms to strike the sight, and merit to win the
heart.
Community of goods, unity of hearts, nobility of
sentiment, and truth of feeling to the lovers of the
fair sex.
Constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship.
Days of ease and nights of pleasure.
Delicious nights to every virtuous heart.
Fair laces and fair game.
Far hence, far hence, be jest or toast
From hallow'd thoughts so dear,
We'll drink to those we love the most
As they would love to hear.
I'll toast Britain's daughters, let all fill their glasses,
Whose beauty and virtue the whole world's
surpasses.
May blessings attend them go wherever they will,
And foul fall the man that e'er offers them ill.
D
31 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Here's a. health to the maid that is constant and
kind,
Who to charms bright as Venus adds Diana's mind.
Laughing lovers to merry maids.
Love, fire, frolic, and a good opportunity.
Love in a cottage, and envy to none,
Love without licentiousness, and pleasure without
excess.
Love and opportunity.
Love's slavery.
Love, liberty, and length of blissful days.
Love without fear, and life without care.
Life, love, liberty, and true friendship.
Love to one, friendship to a few, and goodwill to all.
Love for love.
Love in every breast, liberty in every heart, and
learning in every head.
Long life, pure love, and boundless liberty.
May the cautious fair never be deceived by the ap-
pearance of love.
May love and reason be friends, and beauty and pru-
dence marry.
May " Lovers' Vows" never end in " Lovers'
Quarrels."
May those who take the " Way to get married" find
"'a Cure for the Heart Ache."
May " Love's Labour" never be " lost," but may
the relation of " A Midsummer-night's Dream"
serve for " A Winter's Tale."
May the lovers of the fair sex never want the means
to defend them.
May the villain who robs my daughter of her virtue
outlive every friend.
May the joys of the fair give pleasure to the heart.
May the sparks of love brighten into a flame.
May the bud of affection be ripened by the sunshine
of sincerity.
May we be loved by those whom we love.
AMATORY. 35
May we kiss whom we please and please whom we
kiss.
May a virtuous offspring succeed to mutual and ho-
nourable love.
May the confidence of love be rewarded with con-
stancy in its object.
May the presence of the fair curb the licentious.
May the honourable lover attain the object of his
wishes.
May the wings of love never lose a feather.
May the lovers of the fair be modest, faithful and kind.
May the passions of women be stronger than the
prejudice of education.
May the blush of conscious innocence ever deck the
faces of the British fair.
May the generous heart ever meet a chaste mate.
May the union of persons always be founded on that
of hearts.
May the temper of our wives be suited to those of
their husbands.
May those who love truly be always believed,
And those who deceive us be always deceived.
May we give way to that which unbends the force of
thought—Love.
May the fair daughters of Britain be resplendent in
beauty, virtue, and honour.
May the fire of love never feel decay.
May the streams of rapture meet each other and stop
life in the middle current.
May we never overleap the bounds of prudence nor
trespass on the bosom of friendship.
May matrimony and domestic bliss go hand-in-hand.
May those who enter the rosy paths of matrimony
never meet with thorns.
May true passion never meet with a slight.
May every lover be faithful to his love.
May the true lover never be deceived in the object
of his affection.
May every woman have a projector but not a tyrant.
36 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the rose of the valley never wither nor be rifled
of its sweets.
May woman's bosom be pleasure's couch.
But free from thoughts unholy;
ay it be warm to virtue's touch,
But cold as ice to that of folly.
May caprice and coquetry be aliens to our females.
May the smiles of beauty enchain the fickle heart.
No magic but the magic of beauty.
Our favorite lass.
Sincerity before marriage and fidelity afterwards.
Success to the lover and joy to the beloved.
Sweetbriars ; and the agreeable rubs of life.
Sense to win a heart, and merit to keep it.
The spring of love, and the harvest of enjoyment.
The life we love with those we love.
The dignity of the fair sex.
The lass we love, and the friend we can trust.
The single married, and the married happy,
The comforts of matrimony, and the single happy.
The fountain of love in all its purity.
The companions of beauty—modesty and love.
The greatest blessing heaven can send—A good wife.
The pillars of love : kindness and constancy.
The face that nature paints, and the heart that knows
no deception.
The maiden's blush, and the virgin of fifteen.
The union of two fond hearts.
The love of liberty, and the liberty of love.
The pleasures of imagination realized.
The cockpit of love, and may all the mains be fought
without spurring.
The centre of attraction.
The chaste lip of love.
The dimpled cheek, may it never be clouded with
the blast of shame.
AMATORY. 37
The voice of her we love.
The agreeable odds—three to one.
The maiden, whose charms cannot cloy.
The rose of the valley, and may it never be rifled
of its fragrance.
The ladies!-God bless 'em,
And may nothing distress 'em.
The kiss of love on the lip of innocence.
The lass with a sparkling eye.
The eye that beams with love.
The joys of love.
The village maid; and may she remain so till she
gets a good husband.
The lass who avoids coquetry, and the man that ab-
hors seduction.
To Venus and love.
The fairest work of nature—woman.
The lover's dream realized.
The ladies; and the whole of them.
The lover's direction post.
The spring of love, and the harvest of enjoyment.
The roses of love without the thorns.
The dignity of the fair sex.
The cabbage of love : may it never be destroyed by
the caterpillar of deceit.
The fire of love : may it never decay.
The fair sex: may they never want lovers, nor their
lovers want means to defend them.
The true lover: may he ever be successful in his
suit.
The love of liberty and the liberty of love.
The ladies' toast: upstanding and uncovered.
The ladies: may they always have a right under-
standing.
The privilege of the fair sex : to make a man stand
uncovered.
When love attacks the heart, may honour be the
proposer of a truce.
38
Sporting.
Let the sports of the field be the toast we next pass.
Let us drink with full bumpers to every sweet lass;
With the joys of the chace only love can compare,
So " here's woman—dear woman—and hunting the hare."
May the end of the chace prove the beginning of
happiness.
May every sport prove as innocent as that of the
field.
May the thirst of blood never disgrace a British
sportsman.
May our hounds, horses, and hearts never fail us.
May every fox-hunter be well-mounted.
May those who love the crack of the whip never want
a brush to pursue.
May the heart of a sportsman never know affliction
but by name.
May the love of the chace never interrupt our at-
tention to the welfare of our country.
May the lovers of the chace never want the comforts
of life.
May the bows of all British bowmen be strong, their
strings sound, and may their arrows fly straight to
the mark.
May the day's sport when over make the blood
circle bright
And give the brisk lover new charms for the
night.
SPORTING. 39
May we always enjoy the pleasures of shooting, and
succeed with foul and fair.
May each mom and each day in sweet rapture
pass,
And no other comfort to share,
Than each night to refresh with a bottle and lass,
And feast on the spoils of the hare.
May strength the sportsman's nerves in vigor
brace;
May cruelty ne'er stain with foul disgrace
The well-earned pleasures of the chace.
May we never overleap the bounds of decency nor
break down the fences of virtue.
May love crown the night as our sports crown the
clay.
May we always run the game breast high.
May the horns of the buck never disgrace the sports-
man's brow.
May the pleasures of sportsmen never know an end.
The brave sportsman : that always erects his crest
the moment he sees the game.
The jolly sportsman that never beats about the bush.
The jolly sportsman that enters the covert without
being bit by the fox.
The huntress that never fails to start game.
The gallant hunstman that plunges into the deep in
pursuit of his game.
The huntress deer that does not wear horns.
The steady sportsman that always brings down his
game.
The two haunches well spitted.
The joys of angling.
The beagle that runs by nose and not by sight.
The staunch pack that a sheet will cover.
The staunch hound that never spends tongue but
where he ought.
The clear-sighted sportsman that sees his game with
one eye.
40
Political.
May politics never true friends disunite,
Nor spit its' venom on the sparkling glass;
May envious feelings sink in endless night,
And rage and malice ever from us pass.
May Tory, Whig, and Rad. for ever fight
To uphold our glorious constitution ;
And may no act of party spite
Bring on the horrors of a revolution.
A bill of exclusion to those who would serve their
own private end and neglect the public good.
Confusion to those who rearing the masts of patriot-
ism, desert the cause of liberty in the hour of trial.
Confusion to rotten boroughs and boroughmongers.
Death or Liberty.
Disappointment to those who form expectations of
places and pensions on the ruins of their country.
Earl Grey - and the supporters of the Reform Bill.
Here's a health to Old England, the king and the
church,
May all plotting contrivers be left in the lurch,
May England's brave monarch long fight our just
cause,
Establish true peace, our religion, and laws.
Here's to England, the ruler and queen of the waves,
May she ever be first to give freedom to slaves.
May she always extend to the weak and oppressed
Those blessings with which her own sons have
been blessed.
POLITICAL. 41
Honesty to our merchants, bravery to our soldiers
and sailors, wisdom to our senators ; and may
Christian charity and benevolence be spread abroad
through the land.
Health to my body, wealth to my purse,
Heaven to my soul, and I wish you no worse.
If the sea must not be our empire may it be our grave.
Lord Cochrane ; and the American Patriots.
May our peers be distinguished for their integrity,
or our Parliament Peerless.
May ministers while they are servants of the crown
never forget that they are representatives of the
people,
May the House of Commons always be uncommonly
attentive to the real interests of the Commonwealth.
May the influence of the crown always be destroyed
by its own corruption, and the liberties of the peo-
ple revive on their own spirit.
May we live to see and bless the day
When we've neither taxes to dread nor armies
to pay.
. May the house of Brunswick never forget the revo-
lution.
May the latter end of this century complete what the
latter end of the last century left imperfect.
May the people of England always oppose a bad mi-
nistry and give vigor to a good one.
May the armies and navies of Great Britain always be
successful in a good cause and never be engaged in
a bad one.
May the king form a government of unanimity, and
from that basis shake the world around him.
May we live to do good and do good to die happy.
May the blossoms of liberty never be blighted,
And the heart that is true never be slighted.
42 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the wings of liberty lose every feather.
Old England : and may those who ill-use her be
speedily kicked off.
Oblivion to all party rage.
Perdition to the man who owes his greatness to the
ruin of his country.
Sharp cats for the mice in the Treasury.
The king : his rights and no more.
The people : their rights and no less.
The Mouse of .. .. in the middle of the Thames, and
every honest member a cork jacket.
The electors created by the Municipal Reform.
The British Constitution in Church and State, and
may the union which age has cemented be for
ever inseparable.
The British Lion : may he never rise in anger nor lie
down in fear.
The sacred decree of heaven : Let all mankind be
free.
The ballot: the only mode of procuring a free and
equal representation in Parliament.
The press: the great corrector of abuses, the shield
of the oppressed, and the terror of the oppressor.
The press : the great bulwark of our liberties ; and
may it ever remain unshackled.
The steady friend of Ireland : Daniel O'Connel—and
his supporters.
To him who a patriot's course has steered
Mid faction's wildest strife unmoved,
By all who marked his course, revered,
By all who knew his heart, beloved.
The united Parliament of great Britain and Ireland.
The majesty of the people of England.
The cause of freedom all over the world.
The memory of our brave ancestors who brought
about the revolution, and may a similar spirit ac-
tuate their descendants.
I
POLITICAL. 43
The people : the only source of legitimate power.
The friends of religious toleration, whether they are
within or without the establishment.
The subject of liberty, and the liberty of the subject.
The British Constitution ; and confusion to those who
dislike it.
The American toast: the tree of liberty planted by
our fathers two-hundred years ago—not exclusively
adapted to the meridian of America but suited to
any clime or country, where education has pre-
pared the soil, and virtue attends with her pruning
hook.
" Political coopers."—Should any one attend to start
the hoops on the national cask, may he be hung up
wind-bound as a beacon.
" Charles the tenth's mistake—who thought by ex-
tinguishing the Dey in Algiers he could produce
darkness in France. Strange that one despot should
have so little sympathy for another."
Africa in 1836 :—
May her sons be enlightened and happy and free,
And her daughters be blest, as the fair sex should be;
May virtue and usefulness claim all their care,
And fashion and corsets be never known there.
" May the last French revolution prove as durable
as the first (the American) and less bloody, ter-
rific, and fruitless, than the second."
Vigour and unanimity to the true friends of our glo-
rious constitution.
The constitution of Old England, as settled at the Re-
volution ; may it flourish to the latest posterity,
and may the island of merchants never traffic in
blood.
44
Sentimental.
Next, a sentiment now we will give,
As of toasts we've had plenty before:
Here's to all absent friends, "both at home and abroad,
And may poverty keep from our door.
Ambitious wishes : genius and virtue.
A total abolition of the slave trade.
Adam's ale ; and may so pure an element always be
at hand.
A heart to glow for others' good.
A health to our sweethearts, our friends, and our
wives;
May fortune smile on them the rest of their lives.
As we bind so may we find.
All who act fair ; and the devil burn our enemies.
All our wants and wishes.
A period to the sorrows of an ingenuous mind.
All that gives us pleasure.
As we travel through life may we live well on the road,
An honest guide and a good pilot.
All our wants supplied,
And virtuous wishes satisfied.
All our absent friends on land and sea.
A heart to feel, and a heart to give.
SENTIMENTAL. 45
Equal punishment to the ragged rascal and the rich
villain.
Friendship without formality, and love without flat-
tery.
Gratitude to our friends, and grace to our toes.
Happiness to those who wish it to others.
Lenity to the faults of others, and sense to discover
May the son of our friend live to be a better man
May every honest man turn out a rogue.
May our great men be good, and our good men be
May poverty always be a day's march behind us.
May we never be lost to hope.
May we always mean well and act accordingly.
May we be kind—but not in words alone.
May good nature and good sense be ever united.
May goodness prevail when beauty fails.
May we shine in beauty, science, and arts.
May generosity never be overtaken by poverty.
May our pleasures continue and our sorrows be dis-
tant.
May our afflictions throw our virtues into practice.
May we never have cause to put on mourning.
May we be silent on the follies of others, of which
at a certain period of life we are ourselves guilty.
May our pleasures be boundless while we have time
May we succeed in all our lawful undertakings.
May the polished heart make amends for the rough
countenance.
46 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May every smooth face proclaim a smoother heart.
May the judgment of our benches never be biassed.
May every day bring more happiness than yesterday.
May the love of money never make us forget the
Christian duties.
May the shackles of prejudice never fetter the mind.
May time always unveil the beauties of truth.
May the best day we have seen be the worst we have
to come.
May the rough road of adversity lead us to final
prosperity.
May the consolation of rectitude sweeten the bitter-
ness of sorrow,
May our wants be sown in a fruitful soil so as to pro-
duce immediate relief.
May we derive amusement from business, and im-
provement from pleasure.
May we never envy those that are happy but strive
to imitate them.
May merit always prevail over folly and fashion.
May virtue find fortune always an attendant.
May reality strengthen the joys of imagination.
May our faults be written on the sea-shore, and
every good action prove a wave to wash them out.
May we never repine at our condition nor be depres-
sed by poverty.
May we never make a sword of our tongue to wound
a good man's reputation.
May the prison's gloom be cheered by the rays of
hope, and liberty fetter the arm of oppression.
May industry always be the favourite of Fortune.
May the faults of our neighbours be dim and their
virtues glaring.
May our distinguishing mark be merit rather than
money.
May genius and merit never want a friend.
May the rich be charitable and the poor be grateful.
May we live to learn, and learn to live well.
May the misfortunes of others be always examined
as the chart of our own conduct.
SENTIMENTAL. 47
May honour always allow honesty the duty due to
a parent.
May the deformity of other men's vices teach us to
abhor our own.
May we be more ready to correct our own faults
than to publish the faults of others.
May we never be so base as to envy the happiness of
another.
May those who flatter to betray
Meet a reward in their own way.
May we never hurt our neighbour's peace by the de-
sire of appearing witty.
May the gates of consolation be ever open to the
children of affliction.
May our wants never proceed from negligence of our
own creating.
May the unsuspecting female never be deceived by
the guile of deception.
May the morality of individuals become the policy
of nations.
Modesty in our discourses, moderation in our wishes,
and mutuality in our affections.
May bad examples never corrupt the morals of our
youth.
May the ascent of innocence shew clearly the descent
of infamy.
May our artists never be forced into artifice to gain
applause and fortune.
May prosperity never make us arrogant, nor adver-
sity mean.
May our thoughts never mislead our judgment.
May real merit meet reward, and pretension its pu-
nishment.
May artificial colouring be always perceived through
every veil of disguise.
May filial piety be ever the result of a religious edu-
cation.
May solid honour soon take place of seeming reli-
gion.
48 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May we live happy and die in peace with all man-
kind.
May noise and nonsense be ever banished from so-
cial company.
May the unsuspecting man never be deceived.
May a happy opportunity never be neglected.
May we never make matrimony a matter of money.
May honesty never be ashamed of an unfashionable
garment.
May depressed merit be always exalted.
May we never seek other people's lives by venturing
our own.
May conquest crown and mercy sanctify the sword
of justice.
May every mirr6r we look at cast an honest reflec-
tion.
May reason be enthroned a supreme monarch, and
passions be subject to his laws.
May virtue increase her exports and imports and vice
become a bankrupt.
May wisdom be the umpire when pleasure gives the
prize.
May the difference of creeds be ever left at the house
of prayer.
May the road of discretion lead the way to tranquil
repose.
May the poverty of spirit ever prohibit the miserly
accumulation of riches from the sweets of social
life.
Our friends, our country, and our laws, home, love
and liberty.
Opposition without interest.
Physic to the fool, the faithless, and the fastidious.
Poverty always at the rear, and hope and power
ready to assist.
49
Flash.
We have given a few Flash Toasts, in order hat the general reader
may be made acquainted with the sort of slang adapted at fancy
meetings, flash houses, &c. To the initiated they require no ex-
planation ; the uninitiated are better without such knowledge,
and, therefore, no translation is attempted.
-----
.
A hempen casement for the scrag of every nubbing
cheat.
A blowing up and a blowing down.
A bene crack, a trovitt morris, a hafen masquerade,
an even whack of datsacriams, and damn the nappy
tags.
All knowing coves and prime prigs.
All bodikins and lushing cribs,
All culls and pals and duffers too,
Who are known to me, and known to you.
Bub, grub, a clean wipe, a squeeze, and a goldfinch
twice a week.
Lamb and spinach, a light panter, and a heavy bung.
May our forks never have the farm-rust, nor a game
Yizzle Gaffer ever have the cannack ague.
May he that is scared at the thoughts of a Colquar-
ron stretch, never make a bulky lift, but the nub-
bing cheat lift in the hempen casement.
E
50 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the fear of the halter never break the neck of a
good crack, or the hazard of shoving the tumbler
cramp the fake of a bene-dive !
May we never leave lag a hempen widow.
May we always be able to flash the blunt; take a
flash of lightning; ever be flash coves ; keep a flash
mott; be fly to the big wigs and beaks ; and down
to every nip.
May every beak and knabber be well glim-fendered,
have his gob full of claret, and his squeeze well
scragged.
May we always be able to race our jacks, bait the
bull, flash a quid with a cull, fly the blue pigeon,
and pit our cock a doodle-doo.
May our motts tip the knowing dive
When sea-crabs gang the stroll;
By doing so we then shall thrive,
And in warm flannel roll.
May we never have a copy of uneasiness nor a Darby
roll.
Success to Fencer's wharf; luck to major bob ringing,
and prime grapps for the stiff kiddy.
The dance of " petticoat loose."
The loves of Jock and Jin.
The dapper that never deceives a locksmith's daugh.
ter.
The good crack and the bene diver.
To all pals at Peg Tandrums.
To all flue-fakers, mineral rakers, stiff-quakers,
shag-shakers, and crack-strakers.
The Blunt Magazine : may it stand for ever!
To all cockers, but not cockatrices.
The beggar's benison.
White swellings to every mott.
When the regular takes place, may we never be
" put in the hole."
51
Miscellaneous.
PART I.
The Ten Bibliomania Toasts drunken by the Roxburgh
Club.
1. The immortal memory of Christopher Valdarfer
printer of the Boccaccio of 1471.
2. The memory of John, duke of Roxburgh.
3. The memory of Gutenburg, Fust, and Schirffer,
fathers of the art of printing.
4. The memory of William Caxton, founder of the
British Press.
5. The memory of Lady Juliana Barnes and the
St. Albans' Press.
6. The memory of Wynkyn de Worde, Pynson and
Notary, the successors of Caxton.
7. The Aldine family at Venice.
8. The Giunti family at Florence.
9. The Society of the Bibliophiles Francais.
10. The prosperity of the Roxburgh Club : and in all
cases the cause of Bibliomania all over the world.
The Musicians' Toasts. — May the lovers of harmony
never be in want of a note, and its enemies die in
a common chord.
—May a crotchet in the head never bar the utterance
of good notes.
The Waiter's Toast.—The clever waiter who puts his
cork in first and the liquor afterwards.
52 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The Surgeon's Toast.—The man that bleeds for his
country.
The Glazier's Toast. — The praiseworthy glazier who
takes pains to see his way through life.
The Greengrocer's Toast.— May we spring up like ve-
getables, have turnip nose's, reddish cheeks, and
carrotty hair,—and may our hearts never be hard
like those of cabbages, nor may we be rotten at the
core.
The Tallow Chandler's Toast.— May we make light of
our misfortunes, melt the fair when we press them,
and make our foes wax warm in our favour.
The Speech of the Door-keeper of the House of Commons
" Ladies, fall back, and let the member enter."
The Printer's Toasts.—May we never be locked up for
want of a quoin, (coin).
—May the printer's form always rise when locked up
in the arms of his wife.
The Painter's Toast.— When we work in the wet may
we never want for dryers.
The Carpenter's Toasts.—May the landlord never chisel
a good tenant, nor send him to the bench.
—May the carpenter be well glued that gets a-board
wrongfully.
The Linen-Draper's Toast. — H-ell wide enough for all
dishonest lawyers.
The Lawyer's Toast. - May the depth of our potations
never cause us to let judgment go by default.
The Baker's Toast.—May we never be done so much
as to make us crusty.
The Tailor' s Toast. — May we always sheer out of a
law suit and by so doing cut bad company.
The Hatter's Toast.—When a rogue naps it may the
lesson be felt.
MISCELLANEOUS. 53
The Gardener's Toast.— May the jolly gardener never
disturb his wife's head by raking, nor have painted
ladies in his bed, have balsam and balm for his
wounds, husband his thyme well, raise a plum,
draw when he likes on the mint, and his strong
box ever be a source of delight,
The Tailor's Toast.—May we always stick close to the
skirts of a foe, trim well his jacket, and make him
skip like a flea to hell.
The Schoohlmaster's Toasts :—
Addition to patriots.
Subtraction to placemen.
Multiplication to the friends of peace.
Division to its enemies.
Reduction to abuses.
Rule of Three to kings, lords, and commons.
Practice to reformation.
Fellowship to Britons.
Discount to the national debt.
Decimal fractions to the clergy.
The Pawnbroker's Toast.— When we lend our cash to a
friend, may it be his interest to pay the principal,
and his principle to pay the interest.
The Irishman's Toast.—Liberty all over the world and
every where else.
The Toast of Sir William Curtis.—The three Rs—Rea-
ding, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic.
The Shoemaker's Toast.-May the Cobbler's lapstones
never fail him.
The Fishmonger's Toast.—A large Cod, a fine Maid,
and a good Plaice.
The Coachman's Toasts. —Two miles' pleasant ride on
the Bath road—from Hare-hatch to Maidenhead.
-The ingenious coachman: who goes through Mai-
denhead without leaving Staines behind him.
51 THE TOAST-MASTER
The Tradesman's Toast. — May we never depend on
fair promises for the payment of our bills, nor
trust for words of honey.
The Cobler's Toast.— The good-natured snob that will
give the awl to any sole that needs it.
The Servant's Toasts:—
Here's to them that are turned out,
And not to them that turned them out,
We hope to see them turned about;
Those turned in that are turned out,
And the devil turn them inside out
That turn'd a fellow-servant out.
May the God above
Send down his love
With knives as well as thistles ;
To cut the throats
Of gentlefolks
Who grudge their servants -wittals.
The Americans' Toasts.—The glorious memory of our
ancestors, who in 1775 at Bunker's Hill shed their
life-blood to establish our liberties.
—The memory of those who fought and bled with
Washington to secure our glorious constitution.
A blush of detection to the lovers of deceit.
A full purse, a fresh bottle, and a beautiful face.
A good health to the lads far away.
As we are formed by nature may we be refined by
art.
A fine girl, a plentiful fortune, and a residence in the
country of happiness.
A good judge, clever counsel, and conscientious wit-
nesses.
A full bottle and a friend to partake of it.
Administration without peculation.
A good horse, a warm house, a snug estate, and an
agreeable wife, to every one that deserves them.
MISCELLANEOUS. 55
A bumper round to the pretty ones,—
Here's to the girl with the blue eyes,
Here's to her with the jetty ones,
Where the languishing dew lies.
A friend in need.
A ram's horn filled to the brim with Usquebaugh,
Here's to the chief whose heart is brave,
That merrily lives in the mountain cave,
And bides by Greenwood law !
Who scorns the weather,
Who's bed's the heather,
Fill high, fill high together !
A toast to the charmer whose dimples we prize,
A toast to the damsel with none ;
A toast to the girl with a pair of blue eyes,
And a toast to the nymph with but one.
A friend: when we've got a bottle to give him.
A leg of mutton, a clean shirt, and a sovereign.
Absent friends on land or sea.
A health to the maid with a bosom of snow,
And to her with a face brown as berry ;
A health to the wife that looks eat up with woe,
And a health to the damsel that's merry.
An honest guide and a good pilot.
An attribute of heaven—mercy.
An elevated situation to the knave.
An honest lawyer, a pious divine, and a skilful phy-
sician.
All fortune's daughters except the eldest—Misfortune.
All our wants supplied, and virtuous wishes satisfied.
As sensibility is the child of nature may it ever be
cherished.
At the conclusion of amusement may we never have
occasion to regret its commencement.
All tales but tell-tales.
All we wish and all we want—when we ask nothing
unreaonsable.
56 THE TOAST-MASTER.
A bumper to womankind, clumsy or thin,
Young or ancient—it weighs not a feather ;
So fill a pint bumper—nay, fill to the brim,
And let's toast 'em, e'en all together.
Auld Langsyne.
A sound piece, a clean touch-hole, and plenty of
powder.
A bottle, a pipe, and a kind-hearted wife,
Just to make me feel happy the rest of my life.
A hearty supper, a full bed, and an agreeable com-
panion to every man.
All guardians of their native land : may they be en-
rolled in Honour's deathless page.
All friends round St. Paul's.
All friends at home.
As the hero lays his laurels at beauty's feet, may he
be rewarded in return by her choicest favours.
An honest heart, an honest cause,
An honest judge and honest laws,
A faithful wife and a stedfast friend,
Are the greatest blessings God can send.
A brisk and favoring gale, a pleasant sail and safe
return to every British seaman.
An Irishman ; may he always eat his potatoe without
peel.
A heavy purse and a light heart.
A dainty maid in a bed of rushes.
A little health, a little wealth,
A little house and freedom,
"With some few friends for certain ends,
But little cause to need 'em.
A friend in the morning, a mistress at night,
To till us with pleasure and blissful delight.
A pot and a whiff and a good-natured wife.
A head to earn and a heart to spend.
Ail charitable institutions.
MISCELLANEOUS. 57
A bumper, a friend, and the girl of our heart.
A freehold in a happy land, untaxed and unmortga-
ged.
A hornpipe without shoes to him who betrays his
friend.
A hearty welcome to every sociable soul.
A cordial in grief—content.
A southerly wind and a cloudy sky.
A short road out of the Court of Chancery.
A speedy accomplishment to all our secret wishes.
A health to those we love best.
A constant lover and a sincere friend.
Bachelor's hall.
Be honour our magnet and discretion the compass.
Beauty without pride.
Blest with content and from misfortune free,
Blest may we live, and happy may we be.
Britannia's Toast: lovely women and brave men.
Care at the bottom of a well without hope of being
released.
Come, fill up a bumper all round
Here's a health to all good-humoured lasses;
There's nothing on earth to be found
So cheerful as full-brimming glasses.
Chastity in wedlock.
Conscious innocence, and constant independence.
Come push the goblet round—
And drive away dull sorrow ;
Come push the goblet round,
We'll have more to-morrow.
Conscious honour—when peace of mind is absent.
Calamity to those who would make us feel calamity.
Cash payments, and plenty of them.
Calm nights and cheerful days.
Concord to the just, and a strong cord to the unjust.
58 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Charity without ostentation, and religion without
bigotry.
Chaste matrons, and prudent maidens.
Come, every man now give his toast,
Fill up the glass I'll tell you mine ;
Wine is the mistress I love most,
This is my toast—now give me thine.
Conscience to the usurer, honesty to the lawyer, and
compunction to the doctor.
Come fill the glass and drain the bowl,
May Love and Bacchus still agree ;
And every Briton warm his soul
With Cupid, Wine, and Liberty.
Come send round the wine, and leave points of belief
To simpleton sages and reasoning fools ;
This moment's a flower too fair and too brief,
To be wither'd and dimm'd by the dust of the
schools.
Your glass may be purple, and mine may be blue ;
But, while they are fill'd from the same bright bowl,
The fool who would quarrel for difference of hue
Deserves not the comfort they shed o'er the soul.
Drink to her who long
Hath waked the poet's sigh—
The girl who gave to song
What gold could never buy.
Despair and misfortune—in the deserts of Arabia.
Delicate pleasures to susceptible minds.
Desire and ability to do good.
Drink ye to her that each loves best,
And if ye nurse a flame,
That's told but to her mutual breast,
We will not ask her name.
Emulation in various breasts.
Every thing of fortune but her instability.
MISCELLANEOUS. 59
Envy in an air-pump, without a passage to breathe
through.
Equal punishment to the ragged rascal and the rich
villain.
Every man that does his duty.
Fill up the glass, 'tis friendship's due,
Here's to all friends the world around,
But chiefly him whose ardent soul
Can glow beneath the northern pole,
As o'er the salt wave, homeward bound,
He wafts an anxious thought of you.
Fair play among players.
Fair days, fair times, and fair ladies.
Fortune to the fair, and contentment to their lovers.
"Forgiveness to our enemies, and oblivion to our inju-
ries. .
Friend, fill your glass and then we'll part:
Here's to the girl we love most dear,
Who when no chiding tongue is nigh,
Breathing for us the midnight sigh,
Her glowing cheek wet with a tear,
In fancy folds us to her heart.
Fortune to the brave, and contentment to honesty.
Fortune to the firm, the faithful, the friendly, and
the forsaken.
Frank speaking and no deceit.
Friendly may we part, and quickly meet again.
Friendship with a little interest.
Fill to the brim, and let the goblet's face
Smile with the sparkling purple-Drink,
My friends, the health—
" Our Country!"
Ever may she prove the rock of liberty.
And her brave sons, to distant ages,
Emulate your zeal.
From discord may harmony arise.
Friendship in marble, animosity in dust.
60 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Fill up your glass ; while a relic of truth
Is in man or in woman, this prayer shall be mine,
That the sunshine of love may illumine our youth,
And the moonlight of friendship console our decline.
Fill, fill the glass, to beauty charge,
And banish care from every breast;
In brisk Champagne, come lets discharge,
A toast shall give the wine a zest:
And with sweet love the soul delight,
Making e'en dull misery smile,
Here is our ornament so bright,
The fair of Britain's Isle.
And now, let us drink to the girl who betrays
Her fondness by blushing; grows pale if we praise;
Who's heart swells with love; who's glances reveal
The passion which burns—and she burns to conceal.
Friendship : the social bond of life.
Fox-hunting, friendship and love.
Frugality without meanness.
Gaiety and innocence.
Generous sentiments, and actions to correspond.
Glory to the hero, and success to the lover.
Genial joys to genial souls.
Girls fair, fond, and frolicsome.
Gold to every lad distressed by misfortune's leaden
hand.
Glad hearts to good souls.
Gratitude to acknowledge kindness, and sense to for-
get injuries.
Gratitude to acknowledge favours done.
Gratitude to preserve our old friends, and good be-
haviour to procure new ones.
Great men honest, and honest men great.
Harmony all over the world.
Hastiness in doing good, and tardiness in doing evil.
Health to our host, and thanks for our liberal enter-
tainment.
MISCELLANEOUS. 61
Health for our physician, and content for our nurse.
He who would scorn to betray either friend or
enemy.
How brilliant the sun look'd in sinking !
The waters beneath him—how bright!
Oh ! trust me, the farewell of drinking
Should be like the farewell of light.
You saw how he finished by darting
His beams o'er a deep billow's brim,
So fill up, let's shine at our parting,
In full liquid glory like him.
Health to every father of a family ; and may he al-
ways meet with love, duty and respect from his
offspring.
Health to my dear, and long unbroken years
By storms unruffled and unstain'd by tears ;
Wing'd by new joys may each white minute fly,
Spring in her cheek, anil sunshine in her eye. '
Heaven to those who wish for it, and repentance to
those who do not.
Health, happiness, riches, and a good wife.
Health of body, peace of mind, a clean shirt, and a
guinea.
i Happy are we met,
Happy have we been,
Happy may we part,
And happy meet again.
Health, wealth, and a pretty wife
To every honest soul for life.
Here's to the month that can keep a secret.
Here's life daintily dressed with the sweet sauce of
kisses.
Honour among attornies.
Honest men and bonnie lasses.
Honour's best employment: the protection of inno-
cence.
62 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Holiness to our clergy, and humility to our rulers.
However obscure we are by birth may we never be
renowned for crimes.
Here's may we steal
Along the vale
Of humble life secure from foes ;
With friends sincere,
And judgment clear,
And gentle business our repose.
Humanity in prosperity, and fortitude in distress.
Here's a health to old honest John Bull,
When he's gone we shan't meet such another;
With hearts and with glasses brim-full
Let's drink to Britannia his mother :
For she gave him a good education,
Bid him keep to his church and his king !
Be loyal and true to the nation,
And then to be merry and sing.
Here's joy and success to the land of my birth,
The loveliest land on the face of the earth ;
To the lambs and the heifers that follow my call-
My father, my mother,
My sister, my brother—
And the girl of my bosom the joy of them all.
Here's to the maiden of bashful fifteen,
Here's to the widow of fifty—
Here's to the flaunting extravagant queen,
And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.
Here's a health to the ladies at home,
Here's a health to the ladies awa;
And wha winna pledge with all their soul,
May they never be smiled on at a'.
Here's health to the bright eyes at hame,
Here's health to the bright eyes awa,
Here's health to the beauties of every clime,
And may we be smiled on by a'.
MISCELLANEOUS. G3
Humbug to those who intend humbug.
Here's to the lassie bright
With lips red as cherry,
And eyes like the stars of night.
Humanity to all created beings ; especially to those
of our own species.
Here's to the man, and may he never grow fat
Who wears two faces under one hat.
Integrity in those who wear the robe of justice.
In the comedy of life may errors be excepted.
In all we do may conscience be our director.
Ireland's harp all over the world.
I'll give you sweet home, and our spouses so comely,
-For our home is home, be it ever so homely.
Jews : without usury.
Kindness in marble, and animosity in dust.
Liberality in booksellers, and principle in authors.
Luck in a bag, and shake it out as you want it.
Let each take his glass,
Fill'd up to the brim,
And drink the dear lass
Intended for him.
Let's toast the brave hero whom heaven did ordain
To quell wicked tyrants, and nations to free ;
Who humbled proud Louis, and cut through the
chain
That he made for the people of every degree :
We'll drink the brave hero, we'll toast the brave hero
William the glorious, the gallant Nassau !
The hero who sav'd us when James had enslav'd us,
The hero who sav'd our religion and law.
Let Omnibus Wiccamicis in a bumper now go round
And wave your bonnets, boys, unto the ground.
64 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Let fame frown, fortune lower, and friends betray,—
so as our love proves constant, and our wives true,
may we never care for rank and riches.
Lovely women ; may they ever find protection under
our military power, and pleasure under pur naval.
Love and harmony : may they ever be united.
Let the toast pass,
Drink to your lass,
Nor fear that she'll prove an excuse for the glass.
Maids and bachelors married, and soon so,
Wives and husbands happy, and long so.
May the folly of those who ape the manners of the
great be always hold up to ridicule.
May opinion ever float on the waves of ignorance.
May we look forward with pleasure, and backward
without regret.
May our actions ever evince this belief, that honesty
is the best policy.
May the honest heart never feel distress.
May the chilling blasts of adversity, prejudice, and
ignorance, never blight the early dawnings of
merit.
May we never break a joke to crack a reputation.
May the pleasures of youth afford us consolation in
old age.
May bashful merit rise to favour, and daring inso-
lence fall into contempt.
May the wealth of rogues devolve on honest men.
May every virtuous woman be happy, and every vi-
cious one penitent.
May we all make amends by confessing our faults.
May all the sweets of life combine —
Mirth and music, love and wine.
May we all count like Jews and agree like brethren.
May we always bind fast and find fast.
May we always sail in pleasure's boat.
May the mouth that has no teeth be well fed.
MISCELLANEOUS. 65
May we always enjoy the end of a feast better than
the beginning of a fray.
May every friend be as welcome as the bowl of a
pint stoup.
May no lazy man ever have a careless master.
May every good suitor have a good cause.
May every honest man make money and be wise
enough to keep it.
May justice and mercy for ever entwine.
May every man be wise enough to take that counsel
which even a fool can give.
May our conscience and our sleep be sound.
May no man rise by the misfortunes of his fallen
master.
May no worthy heart be sorrowful or dry.
May those who will sit no where but in ill company
always sit alone.
May we always have more occasion for the cook
-than the doctor.
May we all be able to keep the doctor on the wrong
side of the door.
May our children seek from us rather than we from
mem.
May the high-mettled racer never become a hack on
the road.
May fortune fill the cup where charity guides the
hand.
May our injuries be written in sand and our friend-
snip in marble.
May health paint the cheek and sincerity the mind.
May our endeavours to please be always crowned
with success.
May the heart that sympathises in the distress of
another never sorrow over its own misfortunes.
May we never be in want of a guinea when our
friend is.
May the morning of prosperity shine on the evening
of adversity.
May the devil never receive visits at home nor pay
them abroad.
F
66 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May we never want a bait when we fish for content.
May flattery never sit in the parlour nor plain deal-
ing be kicked out of doors.
May war never be among us.
May we look around us with pleasure and upward
with gratitude.
May the bud of sincerity ever blossom in the bosom
of friendship.
May liberty never degenerate into licentiousness.
May we never swear an honest girl out of her virtue
nor an honest man out of a just debt.
May our wants be reduced and our comforts multi-
plied.
May the sunshine of comfort dispel the clouds of
care.
May we never know want till relief is at hand.
May the glass fly about .
Till the bottle is out
Let each do to each as he's done to;
Foul fall those that hug
Th' abominable jug,
Amongst us heteroclita sunto.
May the pleasure of return bear up the spirits of the
absent.
May those in place be what they profess when out of
place.
May we always see our neighbours' distress with an
eye of compassion.
May the mind never feel the decay of the body.
May the rich be charitable and the poor grateful.
May virtue find fortune always an attendant.
May harmony arise from the ashes of discord.
May temptation never conquer virtue.
May wisdom and discretion be our topsail.
May we act our parts well on the theatre of life.
May every moment be as happy as the last.
May we live respected and die regretted.
May the fiery trial of adversity lead us to prosperity.
May meanness never accompany riches.
MISCELLANEOUS. 67
May we never be blind to our own errors.
May we cherish hope and conquer fear.
May generosity meet with its own reward.
May the tear of sensibility never cease to flow.
May we be slaves to nothing but our duty.
May we never feel want or ever want feeling.
May we always look forward to better things but ne-
ver be discontented with the present.
May hemp bind those whom honour cannot.
May our happiness be sincere and our joys lasting.
May we never know sorrow but by name.
May the honey of rectitude sweeten the bitterness of
adversity.
May the cheerful heart never want a companion.
May we never sacrifice at the shrine of deceit.
May we never masque but at a masquerade.
- May the law of humanity be put in force against the
perpetrators of cruelty.
May poverty never stare us in the face without pre-
senting hope.
May our principles be upright and our morals pure.
May discerning eyes bestow charity and deserving
objects receive it.
May we never envy those who are happy but always
strive to imitate them.
May we never murmur without a cause or ever have
cause to murmur.
May we derive amusement from business and im-
provement from pleasure.
May honor and friendship eternally reign
May each brother mason the truth so maintain,
That all may agree
Generous free-masonry
Is the tie of all ties—life's noblest chain.
