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= = = THE YELLOW STREAM = = =
BY
I.P. STANDING
Price Five Dollars
»*WHAKGh«
1*11 tell you a little story
Just a story that i*ve heard
And you*11 swear It's all a fable
But it*s Cxospel every word
When the Lord made father Adam
They say he laughed and sang
And sewed him up the "belly
With a little piece of whang
But when the lord was finished
He found hefd measured wrong
For when the whang was knotted
It was several inches long
Said He lrtTis hut eight inches
So 1 guess I111 let it hang.11
So- he let it on Adams "belly
That little piece of whang
When the Lord made Mother Bve
I imagine he did snort
When he found the whang He sewed her with
Was many inches short*
lfTwill leave an awful gap", said he*
"But 1 should give a dang.
She can fight it out with Adam,
For that little piece of whang11.
So erer since that day
When human life began
There18 been a constant struggle
Twixt the woman and the man
Women swear "They'll have that piece
That from our bellies hang
To fill th^ awful crack left when
The Lord ran out of whang J1
So let us not he jelous hoys
With that which women lack
But lend that little piece of whang
When eer you get a crack
Im hunt etc lr .r f - » V' V'f r*',:>3e
Somotimt; Lai 1 "'A :; - r^ -
Las wc^r I-: i;-.kr *na ar -r go
To hunt < drj.-M l-^; '3'<t,
Ma frua K:11 , :y Lm-- yor go A1 fur
Saite : i -«o god k<r I 3 oat
So I tell i— -.i'\ 1 gtt fur coat
Sairo r-iti:^ BOniw , or good :;£oat
I walk tv/u Ire} i our irile
1 feel ono arji:\il cir.oll
I tink dat okunk luoi; grno ru die
An frr coai^ gono to helj
Bime by 1 see de skunk
Close up by one big tree
I sneek up ver close behind
I tink lie no see me
Bime by 1 get up vr cloc.e
I raise rm ax up high
Dat goddam ekunk he up an pi uik
Trov7 some thing in ma ^e
Bime by 1 drop ,xa ax
An light ?ut for de ohack
I tink about a mi 111 on ^knrdi
Hees eliiifh upon ma baul:
Ma wife shoes noot rra at de
She &ick on bio de dog
Shees .say you no ':loop har^
Go out an £?ie*;p with hog
I try to get in de hog pen
Jees Grise now what you tink
Dat goddam hog no stand, for dat
On account of av/ful stink
So Im hunt de skunk no more
To get his fur an meat
For if hees piss ho smell so bad
Tees Grise what if he sheet?
door
tonxt."":
... *» A LELIIM^L «
Vm tliirilnij- if h t : *i.,; righl
The reuo had tiurriod heme
And ,vg in D^ucon ih«:f^r*o po\y
Were olttxrg all ale no
You were a 38ckor th .n dear tfi.ll
But not or things abo -e
THE LEHGTH T>hC LKPTE THE -HISADTK
THIS HEJGHTH
Of everlaetirg love
Oh! ttTub, t o v; o o t \ c r) r: 3 ff 3 0 ,? a 7 0 r 3 p o k
e
And kissud eu.&;/ cacdi tear
And how 1 trembled at th- thought
Lest sorrvonc should a4 p^ar
But vyhen you turned th<. lights all out
To guard agal^t sarprise
1 BADB PAKGW dJLL TO iiVaRf EEAK
AND WIPED !Ef 'AZE^EEG BYEci
1 thought CwUl 1 ! t'a 0 Tcuht;-1 riaove
These glcoiii- o- ur t~. 1 hat rise
And SEE THE CAh/JUi THAT WE LOVE
WITH UflBKOLCUD ;D ElEc'f
And as you el'rnl:1 th% pulpit *itairs
And 7 i o ae :* t :; 1ua ^ 3 c a pc 0 * s r
NOT JORDAN': lT:}i*y ' E DEATHfS COLD FLOOD
COULD FhiGHT IE FI .E TER ELOOR
And when you fi/cd the ounhlous up
And 1 roclined at ?ao3
The pulpit pi Hut/ faoath mv head
And you on ocnied lua:.e
With your v/nnr Irvaoiv on ^ lips
How ecu la. 1 3 to 3 vour hana
THE ¥E1L W\B L] !?,l,f-D A.iD EY FAITH
YOU VIEWED TEE PP;0*EEEED j AND
And Oh alien raptorou,; feeling
Thrilled avaay naraa ana v/laen
1 cried "Oil LORD'MY HEART IS TOUCHED"
You shouted out nmmn
My very soul who all ablaze
I thought thah I could boo
TH1 LAND OP REST 1IJLL 03 DEIEGHT
THE HEAVfE JEEl?AUED iOE HE (Over)
««A HBHBESAL--
I thought A CHARGE TO KEEP I HAVE
With mingled fear .md shame
How anxiously Iwatohed dear Will
fTill 1 cyme * round again*
In my distress I strove
To check the welling tears
THE PRECIOUS BLOOD POURED FREELY FORTH
AID CONCURRED ALL MY FEARS,
But that was many years ago
And l¥!e no doubt that you
Remember still the rainy night
in Deacon Foster's pair?
But oht my first experience
Will ne'er forgotten he
While down the stream of life we glide
To our Eternity.
««I>1I GETTING OLDER- -
I see mj finish sure anb surer
Every year.
For I'm getting poor anb poorer
Every year.
My wits are getting -thicker
My jokes don't get a snicker
With less capacity for liquor
Every year*
The women* theyey are sweeter
Every year*
There is more demand, for Peter
Every year
But mine? it gets no bigger
And I'm slower on the trigger
And cut lees anb less a figure
Every year.
—cotd1 'Jim lki tin wjx[:r--
Wo T(Wji : ] ?• n ".' i! ■ f.M i lm " '• n T;j t Gr rnrls
When Pill tT'' '1<i^1 i r, *"il n a .1 ITell
Well, *Y- jW \" '. ,o cp, Yv?;: '1 "bad
But he h r.■*>'.! t j i ; - ■ * \ ''• the >u >: I ■ live
Bh ^iv-nY _ «;ri° r h^rp;-;/ lo/t,
WML* i'vof - - -v ' ?■-?*] v, j -', ' ! t
j„."i -r c" " r ." i . • i'i ^ i - ^ i <
Hell !n j h 1 * i. 'I..' id .» i~ -■
LI], i;' ." > '.i ■ ■ *. ■ = , ■ ■■ , t«-
th : £a«
Tina 11;, *, f • p* *p; :' * " n ■; n i : j oi1
One wo- ■ : o, :f - » , ■< ' :> i-l i1" i
1 a* u 'i > „ ,
0 , ■ „. „_ , : _', <. « « *
And Trtion ] i o ."/* j : :/:
| .-»-"!:> |
i. i *Ksr |
| 1. * |
,r r-^pl |
|
|
inodn* |
1 met Mir-rS Ihil:^:^ In i'-ie h iT^.a^'i
And !ih; T;a: all <*;rvore:l 7/lth mad*
When I aplu\[ hen «/oot hah Yipp^npd
She Bald sh^'h c.ic: ::i:5nL" -.. "by a stud.
«»FfNri DAV |]>=
David with a $ i^l - sj'oijd
The £jix£,t Golrath ;l«tf.
But vW: en n " fu*. In <" Uhi n <? '- u • :>
He found hi* no^d-jd two.
»-E]B GhlY LIT. i TAT «0 •!■«■-
My ocok has h on : i .lcj, *u>»t
But In r^nv'er j^i"- I.^-^-t cr i onn ,
^PARODY OH" THE OLD OAKEN BUCKET**
Hew dear to my heart is the old fashioned Harlot
then fond recollections present her to view*
The madam the whore house the beer by the oar lot
And efen the delight of the old fashioned screw
'You may talk as you like of these new innovations
Imported from Prance of which I've heard tell
But give me the natural carnal, sensations
Of the old fashioned harlot whose surname
if as Belle
How dear to my heart was the old fashioned harlot
A3 she lay legs outstretched on her sumptuous bed
While It an impetuous horney young varlet
Drove my dick to the hub in her spoiled maidenhead
With her musk and her smile and her Yery bad
grammer
She had cast over me quite a Paphian spell
And I dearly delighted to fondle and cram her
The old fashioned harlot whose surname was Belle
How dear to my heart was the old fashioned harlot
Whose regular price was five dollars a leap
I was really fond of those women in scarlet
With whom I was wont on occasion to sleep
You may sing as you like of the old oaken bucket
That hung or that swung in moss girdled well
But give me the strumpet with leisure to fuck it
Like the old fashioned harlot whose surname
was Belle
«* THERE WAS Al OLD MAU== ■
There wars f,n *?'1 ^ev•
Sitting on .v, 3\ "J"
Wat c h irig 1 i 111 o C o 7/ ,
Pla3'":ng './"I <Bn 1 «i .'.■•..•
Agate t: arid mar"')!.-:
in spririglp" i. i , '■ >v.
while in tht-* h~2< h>
They w?,tcih-^1 n - 1. . . ♦ .
BrunetttJ yoan;; Ind;,
Sitting in I/r ,• j< ,.
When oho rcll-'.l < , r
Yon c*H .ild * -1!/, • ''' : po ly... * .♦. *
Sh0 0 s and Bin c L ■ ■ j .
Vi'icib ''i I *i 'Li. •„ w'Tclc
Sho caiu Lhc\n t,- ,■ > ' *!»" •> Ming
A no™ \v^5* l . • • .
Bring; up u: r cf > n -; .* * »
An I I e ^-li h;n • • . nJ ;
A3 over in th 3 \ ^.: ;
'.rroy \tur ' °" ». ■
Li Gb*J 3 or*Ki:.iu ^ •
Duvm j ,» !i : '« * I* '
Ana aaid tl:f\»*> ' h ,„ ? ' >L ■,» liim
xh) lo.i;jt 1 s -1 \ -.'i r * ♦ * •
By notf you i,c ;
Tha II a3b d» n ? \ l1 .;
And proLahl / l^lc"
1 b * c a ±0 u n \ . . . ."'; ■ fod it is .
—A DOS FOE SALE—
A nice "brown &cv; ao :.ounrl ^e a ring
Will he eigat y:)rs^ old if lie lives
? till spring
He'll p.L«- ;• 01 y .:•■ ■ \ ;\;;*; l.-ihi t mi
Eub three ^diio ' > r. .;." '. i-nlt L
■ 3 1 jc ■ *. 1":11;/,: ■ '. ■ ,, ! '. ' .; ,*:',: ■■ uh, \
('s
But b^.'ri ti '!;aiii; ? : . -'a- it,.- ^hope
«LYDIA PIKTKHAM"
You1 , o 1j ; - r,i c ? L, IIk, Pii "* Ii u ,
And hor clm^cuuu »>j ru'irr*
It turns pri :kj u: j'J "'j'iu^ ' or.it Ii j
An J. uali e a c un t u ^ " o r, .' : i ■;. i r; cl
Wid<. 7/ Pro^n ^in i^s :: - huh;
Though bho .10 d !,i u 1 n v-c. v 1 y
SO £? ll 'J 3 V/0] 1 j ; - c? t Li I r 1 j ? _ j, u a., J
And noTJtf eli'i hn, t,tu m ytarl:
Bill Smith had peritonitis
He couldiiJt pit 3 at all
He took he garglea son:: compound ■
Now he's a human waturfail
Mrs. Jones had rotten kidneyo
Poor old lady couldn't pee
She took she tjargl^cl sono compound
Noy they pipe hor to the scsa
Geraldine had no ere aotwerko
She couldn't till her olouao
She took ;.-:li8 ^ar^led some compound
Now they nilk h^r wi th the cows
3?rankie ^ras a "bearded lady
But his 'pecker wouldn't pock
He took he sallowed some compound
Now His like a giraffe*s nock
—JIM TAYLOR"
My name is Jim Taylor
My cock is a whaler
My hullocks weigh ninety-four pounds
And when I fuck Anna
I fuck her goddam her
I drive her ass into the ground
««THF JOLLY TIKKER«=*
There was a jolly tinker
And he came from Dungaree
With a, yard and a a half of fungas
Hanging down "below his knee,
The landlady's daughter
Coming from the "ball
Saw the jolly tinker
Lashing piss against the wall,
lr0h tinker, oh tinker
I'm in love with you.11
If0h tinker, oh tinker
Will half a dollar do?11
He screwed her' in the parlor,
He fucked her in the hall*
And the servant said, "By Jesus,
He'll he crawling on us all*11
"Oil daughter, oh daughter,
You we re a a ? 11 ;j f o o 3.
To get "busy with a man
Who has a p^nis like a mule.11
!f0h mother, oh mother
I thought that [ \ias ahle
But he split me up the front
From ray cunt upko ray navel*11
—A FOOLS PRAYER—
A fool Ih^re vjb.s ano ho srado h:\ri prayer
To a rag, aborn, and a Perils of hair
He placed his ho no iu ;,ue h< nk c«f hair
But the fcnl ?/c* f-lot,for thD rag
was there»
I wonder „1l/; u, J f* j > I 11 ,: nl L > j u,h b
Wonder if sL. will 'ilarb
to [\i]r: a'fi rifvl
1 wonder if ^liu ea:, IvJl
that "''vs hian rai^inj; Hell
I woxxder if ohe'li Jn-iv
My wif e is jufJ t ab r 1 >-c
itv5 nLcu c;in l»w
1 hope she doo&n't I'o^i
ojo nice ioT/ard roe
lor an afternoon of ,joy
is !f3ll on the old boy
I WONDER WlfAT If/ W3ff
WILL WAT: T0M1UIITV?
«A PASTORAL==
The slieepherdcr laj in ibo tall tall graes
And his favorito? dc;:: ls/f close to his ass
Through a hole in }Al worn blue overalls
A toothless ewo was licliiny his balls
A magpie sat on a fence close by
And gazed on tic- 3 cere v/:* th watchful eye
His gun went off ynd if a old e;ve quit
Ths hound dog y^lyjd—aia^ the mag pi 3 shit
"POOR WHITE TRASH"
■ The rich man uses vaseline
The poor man uses lard
The nigger uses aixlc grease
But ho gets it twico as hard
«EIZZEN A2TD KERN==
Drifting down the atroan of Iszen
They were seatsd in tho stern
She had placed hor hard on f.issen
And he bad hit; hand on horn
—THE DARBfG ffLY"
The little fly flew "by the door
Then flew into the grocery storo
ge shit on the cheese thou fish it on the ham
Then wiped his feel on the grocery man
fhen the grocery ^an £*aw what lie had clone
ge went and loaded hi8 gatling gun
ge chased the fly ail ever the place
And tried to nhooot iiir> fjquare in the face
But the little fly was awfully alick
And showed the grocery man a trick
He flew all around ths nloro and then
Went over and ahit on the han alalia
And when he'd finished his dirty work
He went over and lit on the lady clerk
And climbed up her leg way past her knee
And tickled her till she laughed with ylee
Ha fluttered so fast that ho made her sigh
And softly she murine rod lrOh rayf Oh my*
Then she closed her logs and held her breath
The poor little fly was smotherea to death
« A TOAST **
A social glass
And a social lass
So very well together
But a social lass
With a social ass
I think a damned sight better
Here's to the glaas
And the lass and the ass
May^ we meet in all kinds of weather
We* 11 drink from the glass
^rig the lass in the ass
A^d make us both feel better
The
—THE CIVIL WHOKE«
postman eamo on tho first of May
Stoe policeman came the very next day
june months later there was hell to pay
w*o tired the shot—TJie Blue or the Gray!?
=*THB Bll AND THE COW«
'Twas a sunnj morn In June
The Bee had put his pipes atune
And "buzzed his way across the field
While the birds their love song spieled
He "buzzed and ate full many an hour
Then crawled into a dainty f lowe r
And curled Himself up for a nap
The same as any drowsy chap
A Cow came browsing through the moor
And toward the dainty flowerlet bore
Hot knowing thcit the Bee was there
She put It on her hill of fare
So rudely 'wakened from his doze
Hi b Be e ahIp's fiery t empe r ro s e
n01d Cow11 he said "I'll sting you deep
'then I have finished ^Ith my sleep"
So cuddled in his darksome don
Quite Boon he went to sleep again
He slumbered on 'til early dawn
But when he -iwo'ke THK COW WAS GONE....
«*GOOSEY BILL—
fe "buried our friend Bill today
A companion of pipe and bowl
We've 'been on many a drunk together
Damn his good old soul
I always had Bill bested
When it came to drinking hooze
But the man who could heat Bill fucking
Never walked in a pair of shoes
He always had a hone on
And ready to spill his lump
Said he'd give his place in heaven
lor a first class piece of cunt
It wasn't 'booze that killed old Bill
Nor cunt that took him away
A fly crawled up his asshole
And tickled uoor Bill to death.**
f Jl. "l
1 », \ L>
f ' It v 1 J I, Ikl J,lXA
Box) HI I a
I w ij r H Ml if.
iu) noun tains
r:'i v.i Ih Qleet
t
! o rn i jy oil} l u :
Ailj a an, • tin i? i in , v.xi , t. )
V? llcy
It •;. c ui> ,u ll\\u I „ i1 a >„d ..\r Txlol ] le
ailC '/U/ tlin filij) bjllD
1 wau bui a ] cu ao/u gander
lAul J J > a '1 "lal ^ v likj lie 11
Along cc»ne a u i l.4, >:li clior
All *r> n « * jw Lin jj3y < a ] lioh
And ho u tolo a ;a *i, II )1 j I u
Tlie htinLin1 ?• i*-u f-Lv-uL l^h
I'm just a> ' j * <a < Go a mouent
Alii GilO i. J JH «31 h'rr \A,t
But 1MJ t'H ''^ -• Jvni, Mat rM pc 1 uiy cunt
1 if i t t al, c i, t, j i 1 j uu giL^nt c!*i,y
=^an a>t ^ ' A ^'M roTi n~=
Gather your is n rAum:: /"ill 3 you may
Old "i'liTE" i j 3tlll c -ri.'iruj
And th o 1' e n i u t .'i a I I o u g l ! f* I o o o y
Tomorrow a all ! : u^ii^
"MAkY'S LITTLE UAICE"
Mary had a little; .aatoh
Shu oaalJaa;a?d it ono day
And new f:lio * c taking eanearets
To pacs tli?, tiwe aary
But ao tl.:: Urii v;;^t cvj and on
The v-aMa rci'mia^ In* , t -ju
So if you aan
•no;? llv. tirn*
Just look u,n Mr _• -» .- ;;^;.
"THE PIONEERS"
The pioneers have hairy ears
And piss through leather treeehe^
They wipe their asf> on broken glans
Those hardy sons-a-fciteheu
When cunt is rare they fuck a tear"
And knife him if h^ snitch: b
They knock their cock? againnt Qus rocks
Those ha r dy s o n si - a - b L t c h e a
They take their ass upon bhe yras*
ffrom fairies or from witches
Their two pound dinks are full of kinks
Those hardy sons-a-M tches
Without remorse they fuck a horse
And heat him if he twitches
Their mighty dicks are full of nicks
Those hardy sons-a-toitehes
To make a mule stand for the tool
He's "beat with hickory switches
They use their pricks for walking sticks
Those hardy sons-a-bitches
Great joy they reap from buggering ahe^p
In sundry "bogs and ditches
Nor give a damn if it be a ram
Those hardy sons-a-hitches
When boo^e is rare they do not care
They take a shot at fitches
They fuck their wives with 'butcher knives
Those hardy sons-a-bitches
*»INVITATIOff"
There are so many feather hods
So many little maidenheads
There's practically no use
For sodomy or self-abuse
^RJIB DAIS D00«
Oh Ring dang doo, pray what is that
So soft so warm like a pussy cat
So warm and round and split in two
She said ffJt was her Ring Dang Doo*11
She took me down in her cellar
Said ffl was a damn fine feller
She fed me wine and whiskey too
And let me play with her Ring Dang Dootf
You God Damn Fool11 her mother said .
^You've gone and "broken your maiden-head*
"So pack your trunk and suit case too
And go to Hell with your Ring Dang Doo*11
She went down town, "became a whore
Hung up a sign outside her door
One dollar down or less will do
To take a crack at my Ring Dang Doo»
They came "by twos, they came "by fours
Until at last they came hy scores
But she was glad when they were through
For they had ruined her Ring Dang Doo,
And now she lies "beneath the sod
Her soul;, they say went not to God
And down in hell when Satan's blue
He takes a whirl at her Ring Dang Doo*
"HIS 3BEATEST FEAR**
Some die from drinking whiskey
Some die from drinking hear
Some die from diahetis
And others from diarrheal'
But of all the damn diseases
1 really dread or fear
I*ts the drip drip and the drop drop
Of the damned old gonorrhea,
J IIPJ t "nVLu i £i lU'UV-.l1". 1,y t-,4G 7/0 I'd Ljoll?
T.:^y o^etlmor r\j,y "ft* i cold ao Moll"
L^netlueo they rw wtt' ■ hot *3 JIoll"
When It, r:\uins ji^.rd "It's Hell1' they cry
It'-.; aluo "lloll" vriu.li lb is dry
They nlJato li\o Ik: 11" to L-ie it enow
A "Hollof a i/Ind" v/hon it utarte to blow
?j\;w ?jJIot7 in Hell co.n anyone tell
"V/Iil-V. In IIf.i;w they mean by thin v/ord HILL?
Thin nafrioci Jifo ia "Hell" they say
When he comc "'i: late "There's lie 11 to pay"
V.Iien rn; starts to ;y,li "It's a Holl of a note"
It's "I-feli" when you have a kid to toto
it1- "Hell" v/i^n the elect* r sends his bills
3?cr- "A Ho3 t or a lot" of trips and pills
"Figure like Hell" and you'll know real well
Just what In we ant by this word "Hell"
"i-lell vesfl3 "itcLi no* anl "Oh K^U" too
"Th*, He 11 ycu don?ttr sn;> TfTho Hull you do11
Ano "What ixi "Il^n* an:' "Tne Hell it is"
"The HcH wiin yovre11, f,The Hell with his11
Nov "Who in Held* sud "Oh Holl where"
And "What in Fell do yen think I care"?
but "The Hell of it is" "It's an sure as Hell11
We don't knew "S'hat in Hell1* is "Hell"
—TWO LETTERS--
I'm sending you a token
Of a "buggy whip that*s "broken
And of footprints
On the dashboard upside down
There are grease spots on the cushion
Giving evidence of pushin'
And our daughter Venus
Hasn't come aroun'
I'm the guy that done the pushin*
Put the grease upots on the cushion
On the dashboard upside down
Since I've had your daughter Venus
I have had a troubled penis
And I wish Pel never seen
Your gosh darned town
--LADY LXL™ (Eugene Held)
Li3 v/a3 the "beet our camp produced
And oT all tin gent;; want Lillian "goosed11
Had no Buch "goot'en"1 nor never will
uinc«i lac Lord raktd in i?oor Lady Lil
We once had a big "bet in our town
Thar wernH no geezer that could brown
Lil to a finish, any style-
And no bloke ever made the trial
fCept Short Pete the half-breed galoot
Who wandered in from Scruggins Greek
His taking it surprised us all
Por Pete he warn't so big and tall
But when he yanked his tool out thar
And laid it out across the bar
Wo 'lowed how Lil had met her fate
But thar 'warn't no backing out that late
And so we * ranged to have the mill
Behind the whore-house on the hill
Where all the boys could get a seat
And watch that half-breed brown his meat
Lil1 start was like a gentle breeze
That swayed the noddin* cypress trees
But when het up she screwed for keeps
And laid her victims out in heaps
She tried her twists an double biffs
And all such maneuvers known to quiffs
But Pete was there with every tack
And kept a lettin out more Jack
It made us cocksmen fairly sick
To see that half-breed shove in prick
She gave Short Pete a lively mill
And wore the grass half off the hill-
Till finally she missed her shot
And Short Pete had her on the pot
But she died game just let me tell
And had her boots on when she fell
SO WHAT THH HELL BILL—WHAT THE HELL
--OUR YQUI31SI CHILD—
She lay stark naked "between the sheets
So nice and fat and chubby
And I myself "beside her lay
My hand upon her hubby♦
1 kissed her lips in crazy glee
And fneath her chin did chuck her.
Our thighs did intermingle
And I began to fuck her
n3?ull outw she cried. "Pull out pull out
Or lfll get into trouble -
I did and on her snow white breast
That stream did squirt and bubble
I looked into her frightened face
And with a smile of mirth
I saidf fll guess that is the youngest child
That you have ever nursed.11
She scooped it up with one fair hand
And with a glad "Ha Eafl
She threw the load into my face
And said, "Child, kiss your papa11.
=*Iir MOBILE"
Oh the men they wash dishes in Mobile
Oh the men they wash dishes in Mobile
Oh the men they wash the dishes
And they dry them on their britches
Oh the dirty sons-a-bitches in Mobile*
The cows tbey are all dead in Mobile
The cows they are all dead in Mobile
The cows they are all dead
So they milk the bulls instead
?Cause babies must be fed in Mobile,
Oh they teach the babies tricks in Mobile
Oh they teach the babies tricks in Mohile
Oh they teach teach the babies tricks
By the time that they are six
They suck their father1s pricks in Mobile*
~IH MOBILE (cont.)««
Oh the Eagles they fly high in Mobile
Oh the Eagles they fly high in Mobile
• Oh the Eagles they fly high
And from way tip in the sky
They shit squarley in your eye, in Mob
«-WHY DO&S LEAVE A HICI EAT BONE«»
The dogs once held a meeting
They came from near and far*
Some came in flashy autos
And some came in a car*
But before inside the hall
They were allowed to look
They had to take their assholes off
And hang them on a hook*
They all walked in? one by one
Mo the r son and sire,
But no sooner were they seated
Than someone hollered ffPir^ff.
They all rushed out In a bunch
They had no time to look
So each one grabbed an asshole
And took it off the hook*
They got their i:Bbhole3 all mixed tip
It made thorn arcfully o^re
To think they'd 1-st the tsshole
They'd ?->lvjays worn before
And thats the reason why
When you g:> down the streets
A dog will stop and £7/«/p & smell
With every do^ ho most*?.
And thatfs the reason v>.y
A dog will ItMvr. a bc:n^
To smell -i-ther1^ aosh^le
In hopes t < find his nvm,
—AUTO DRXVIH& BULBS—
If she has never been driven before
Cover her inlet valves with grease
Peel her shaft fore and aft, examine her bore
Her toggle Joint finger with ease*
As she starts warming up just lift up the hood
Turn her over if she feels dead,
Then work the pistons slowly but good
fTill you heat up her cylinder head*
Always start off with a very slow speed
fTil you feel her vibrations begin*
And when her clutch takes hold very.much
Open it up and drive it all in,
If she starts to shoot in her muffler
And her carburater floods, it's no good#
If you donft keep your transmission going
When she starts to boil over the hood*
Put on your brakes ~ then throw out your clutch
Wash radiator out with water,
Pull down the hood with the same dainty touch
Rinse the gun off with which you have
shot her*
BUT
If you know that a stranger was running her
And shefs soiled, let me say this mister
"Touch not that spot, regardless of purr,
Or you'll repent with a nice burning
Blister*
«f HAT A MAN«»
I grabbed my gal
Threw her on the grass*
My toe hold slipped
And I rammed it up her ass.
I fucked her standin1
And Ifucked her lyin1
If she had wings
I'd have fucked her flyin1♦•.•
»» A TOAST «
Here*a to the menI
When I meet 'em I like 'em
then 1 like 'em I kiss 'em
When 1 kiss 'em 1 love 'ecu
When I love fem I let 'em
When I let 'em I lose 'em
Goddam 'em
"MARY'S MAXDMHBAD^
Mary had a maidenhead
She cherished it most dearly
But since she took a boy to bed
It has acted up most queerly
"» HURSTS TO THB GIRL*"
Here's to the girl with pretty blue eyes
Who wears red hose and has big thighs
She has no cock but that's no sin
She has a nice little hole to put one in
«THE SPLIT**
Here's to the split that never heals
The more you rub it the better it feels
And all the soap this side of Hell
Can't wash away that fishy smell
"MOONLIGHT*-
I love her in her evening gown
I love her in her nightie
But when moonlight flits
Between her tits
Jesus Christ Almighty1
The Cat Stood On The Burning Deck
■ "HOT PUSSY"
There was a young fellow named Charter!s
Put his hand where his lady's garter is
Said she lfI -don't mind
But up higher you'll find
The place where my pisser and farter is."
There ^.i > , ,;* i«, 3 lee~. fJ "Peek'r ; Oi : ':
Who need to h<v : l^rVflh j Isjjioe 1 ?*;*;:
A felloe **nwi- Willing
Said "Ho// pro^o! irg
You donM get l r; f^iu^ »s • lo sycnJ
Th3rw \ e i ii ;> clli^j J« . 1.0e«-a rce 11 r:')v
Eao bu ot i Udif };ox er-J clmnnre
a 13 1!ji, !'oi*r
ffrcui a dirty old vhore
So lv- >v/ole hi r i ]-iI ,r ic thrali !'ie.
There i,u- i ; ounj t : /: < i\.u Vrener,*4..
Hi:
yr
h:n :1 , ,j
Hung doe'K to i ie 3a; ;.,
Now Y.hsL ne.et it u. Jibii Ms riec,.?
There uvu'» an old Itn.y from GrofT
Who 1:«. y/ed. en green ivct Lee une snuff
Wh e n o h r. c r) 11 i:, n* f £, -, f t h c e 0
She 1i ve d on the ch e s j c
Bhc scraped "frui th ; e.j:". of her twu!;-
There rui -in ode mic-n i roia Mar; t Lie la* ';.
whose eocl:: iw.e eo J 0.0^ lm conic1 ruck It
lie buicL vnth a £;rin
As he v.iped off 2110 chin
"If iuy e\r vcj: a eint 1 oue. iav;k it11
There wa;> a young raui feje Kent
Whose prick v/&s t-o J.oris; that it
To a a v e ii L a: e e 1 f t roiu ■ 1
He put it in dcuhie
And iuoi^ad of coadr)R } e ■
out
There \v£s a young \;o;u:u: in Dee
Who otayud with each i.em eho dJ
When it eaue to a \;jl"1
She wished for the feet
"For practice i^dzee ja^r/oct y<;u
There was an old ma 10 In fMlM'Vi
A strlver and seeker of truth
This pretty wench
fas adopt at Proneh
And said "All elso waa nn-jouth" •
There was m old man *Y »;- \U ir^tl
Who aworf he had only oiv\ "hi, IL
But two sons-of-Toitcltns
Took down his hrilathes
And found he had no hall n > ,t <»1J,
There was a young man ft oro HVen t
Who was fucking a Rottentot q^I
She sa i d t * Y ou * re a r 1 ug,;:, ;\1
He saidf ffyou be huggoro^
I want to fuck slow, an- 1 r:h'iiU"
There was an old lady from Yrtuicr
Who hopped from a train i ii n t/auna
The engineer fucked her
So did the conductor
And the "brakeman went off in I is pants
There was a young man fYwii ;,i:i \>:.III1.:*
Who lived on clap juicr^ and eriaL L,i
When tired of these
He lived on the cheque
IProm his prick he pickcu "ith h*r. '\,t''3
There was a young girl p>v.ri Tz-ri"1 ...; m"
Who*cl do anything anycno ack-- !
But when she got spliced
She got so high priced
Only Christ and John Jccob Ast^r
There was a young girl named Loilay
Who waa put in the family way
By the mate of a lugger
An ignorant hugger
Who always spelled cunt with a X
There was a young Prcnch^an fron 3r:-?t
Who sucked off young cirlr; y<\. :.b. a ',v. ♦->'.;
In spite of their howlo
He sucked cut their 'fcowe]o
And spit all the shit on ihoir hrc.a<;t
Wati tjijjU,'•!. <'V hi r cunL i i in I'.telilj
fl^a and .,y ",:ut I i
The I d ^ vj t. /■ v^
Who Gaid tN,., ; •
f J <! ( iirn/ ' f*'
And nnv/ bir^ di un »♦ r di>:<.: /I «,r
There v'ae ; ;m«. >'j< u jr.
Who thot ILuL 1 j'
r i U
c ^cif 'if Li j.;rtt ' un
fie raid !ldk ji,v U: y
it X 1 to 1 }J> 6 0, ;1 *> V \)
There was an old "bird o,f Bander
Who went on a hell of a sspree
He wound up the oioed
With tN> eml oT Yob cook
And diddled .} I * jin^ \vj t.i Lb n $y
Theri' i/nc- wa, o fd'.-l rd ,iq n^ . 1 I)a7e
Who scro^rd a d rd ,' <n in u , ive
When iud:rd '* t\ t;nK ^
Cald 1 i,xaf L I • Id x > i
Just think nf; u ; / ,m » ^j."
Tkei\ ^a^ ^ joii"^ I" fV *-' -*1 Tr ,t*j r
Who .tit-1 Lu d;: uj ; r -> - , l , ;, d h;r
11 Xi you dc not urdul
PIguu^ n i , f t :ht '6
Ih: /tout "d * "rjdi * i'j -,'} T:jlCi,u
Who v:jj E'l^SwCc'i-j^l^ \lc<
}Io [J jl aL h: ~ * r, jc. *;lon
• n uclx na iuni f I i*ii
BliC il-O'^ 0 1 i ll * I ' L , ."" 'M %„* n*d 1
Tho;c v/sin , ^ i ; - ^ ..ii r ns j*j^ Lee
Who w [ i1 i ?>;-; lid i-N" ^ tin sea,
S'.i id L- J"; f i i l\ L] i li i tiil^,
»
Said clu S1i,ad! "nr, --jf pd
I am the king of Slam,
For women I don't give a damn,
You may think odd of me
But I prefer sodomy.
What a hell of a bugger 1 am.
m\
There was a young man from Cape Horn,
Who wished that he had nover 'hoen born,
Mor would he have been-
If hi*3 parents had aeenf
That the end cf the rubber was torn.
There was a young lady at seaf
Who said, ffKow it hurts me to pee^11
111 s e e M, s a i d th e ma t e
"that acconnts for the state
Of the captaint the purser and me,11
f' h o' • e ;• a o an ol '" m j, i«1 o f r \r i c 1 :onl \ am
f
V/lu ti c h £ujl1 ! e el ?> 7/J I' oat picten' fem,
3'^e "''null* o1; the God
ArJ ^i^u/c^ to h?r Pod,
i o 1 j o j i v. i r oi 3 r, \ r <\; L1j 3n *' lu
TUor \ ao w y "n^ /m r t'om; r Paul,
Wh/ajo o< o , aa i r;-:oc olinyl;/ small %
He boggarod ahug
0 ■ iv . edg- f a rug,
And fch. hu ridu"?L :fj-i it nf a31.
Th^ro va'f.J -■ » '10 iw.i from Baenhurj
Who to< ! ou ; j.I- reC »h lo j", pe r» a :a r,
b j tii o j at iao- aeu t
p«>d*r I i-5 dinned i-ihj; jvr x, Vnt?
So h1 ,'t ,"'..: > h<^ in v-ri and abe *er.
There aaci *ao ol<i marbl oi lajecliof,
Who ha" i ra '; i, 'ivl'-' fcrUia,
f'.: l'*y*t on /o r bo, oh
And opened Lros orach
An«.i ppr;j:>lo. the f 1; :-r on the: ceiling,
A al.cinny clri nr ui ;vin?i Dunn
^'d a vllO^-l rraf-vvv/ ^cr-of-.i.-^iin
She uaLd, " f o on ' t care
if tiara iJk\,,1: jnuch there
God tar.ae iy,a if- b-ho'a than none,
There was a youn,rc man from Lynn
Whose cook was the size of a pin
Said hi a girl with a laugh
As she felt of his staff
"This won't "be much of a oinff
There once was a girl from Selecia
Who said. *lf my twat don't please ya
And if you don't mind
You may try my behind
But "be careful my tapeworm don't sieze
A coon who was out with his Liz
Said !lBaby let's get down to biz
Said she "That can't be
Less youse stronger 'en me
But Honey 1 reckon you is11
Winter iu here with hib grouch
The time wh~. n you oreoze and jou slouch
You can't fako your xjomiKL
Canoeing or swimming;
Eut a lot can "b<j dono on a couch
T h e r e wa b a y o u a g ." a d 4y f r o m I yr n
In bed with an old man named Wynn
Though he t riant his beat
And diddled with zest
She; ke^t aokxng !,:\'y Love is it in?11
Ninety years old a/a a .Flymi
He went to a Hooks!: op to sin
But try as he would
It did him no good
lor all he had ]sft was the si-:in
There^ was an old fellow of Greenwich
Who lived upon eablago and eplriaoh
He had such a tool
It was wound on a ipool
In-ich by in-ioh by in-ich
There was an old man of Peru
Who found hs had no tiling to do
So ho went to Dig garret
And stayed vn.tl: the parrot
And ssnt the rv&ul.t to tli^ zoo
—A fUOL MlMl WAS—
A fool there was and he met a "belle
Even as you and I
And he took her to a swell hotel
Even as you and I
And he thought himself a smart young gink
As he wrote "arcl wife11 with pen and ink
And slyly gave the clerk a wink
Even as you una 1
They went up the hallway and into a room
Even as you and I
frying their best to look "bride and groom
Even as you and 1
How she was IFri&co'ft most famous belle
And the fool was all set to give her Hell
But when you're past forty you newer can tell
Even as you and I
She took off her undies-showed, her white breast
Even as you and I
He stripped right down to the hair on his chest
Even as you and I
They jumped into bed, his brain was afire
Anxious as Hell and mad with desire
And then he discovered he had a flat tire
Even sis you and I
The fool cab up and he :i:ade a prayer
Even as you and I
To a rag and a bono and a hank of hxir
Even as you and 1
And for err*3 5 n 13 ie life ho prayed en
the square
But the gorg'-'ouo darn3 did net soero ta. care
3?or he be^am a CViec-inan then and there
Even as you, .act I..,.
"KISSING™
A man may ki?a hid idfe goodbye
±,tje roso may lds;i ~0ho buttery'lv
l&® wine may hi- * the Trotted arlass
^d you niv frU-d iuiy Joi.sj my aso
«THW KiTA'? r >* X'hdM i "<
In Ind i a i\) j 4oy * 1 y : n i,
Dwo^t hi n 1 lit, tu ^v , p»sJ, i *>J
When hr v.c j.1 l *> .■ J i' - • l • r
"Behold thf 1\Lj* i ch 7ih! joi !
With might,/ <•; ^t j; ■ ; , J
He war, a rinet~ In-pn <h ^ r h h< <
And 7/hen In 1 * • * j< .It
Diamonds uu" in. • , ,. .i, ^
To care a?or li:' •; «' <.• j * ! j t .\ i
Ee kenyt a In- •> j( r > i\ .i , -1 • i,
Who BVcim c J i ^ i1!! i : • i r -
Living ^ 3 i T c '.' *j ^ ■ i c a i
11 kc pt hi fj ,\ ? i : 1 u'* 1 c f* ,
Running v e jr^-i » •': v . *i
And vl?rn in; I j.n^ l in, t jn) j
The jvn ee; n nn i i > \ '> * ~! I
The nmts o l V; r."-, n >n j - v.
He *d pluifp;^ I i t n j'1 . js , > »
Or to the; .nrr; * ^ ■ r3 n *
He'd VHvt Lt ,» I : .. ' i ;' -,
Tho Mti on ; an > -r ' -■ i -- ..- .
i
The KhDxi nou;
Hi a can :3 r :>'* \n ', r > , M .i
f,The pi- i ch h, ; u %,ij "ih .* 1 ,.n
Each ni^iiu 11 n'!i ,< „n ^ -
He fd hen * v r J< ! n ■ , ; v
Whh ch j.r^.r • .f) - i ; ,i . - I ,,;, l
H3 'd fin" oh vJ >' '< i -> j h „ <>
No dust;/ cln ? "< J •*' ' I hi ;n
He could j. v i j (»< .!_ 6 ■" . '
Some t fin', h ho , h: n n' >' h- |<
And let "Hi? It V '< h i ! !,*
But "After J. ' * n i r ■• . .
BI like tb: ^^ : -,m -"'I^
But tin' '7 : I n h
Rnbelli" en -\ £,xl * I ' s^^ v '
And a31 th? p^r-| T . r, 11
Went cn.t on V • < " i» j
And nov; f t- i . ? < '
Unto tho lw : " ^ . j *
fTis beV :l h,i? - - i . j -
Runnirj^ hi i is 1 ! r, :'. " n
"HOOKSHOP KATE"
Did you ever hear of the gruesome fate
That "befell the heroine Hookshop Kate?
Tho now she has passed to the great beyond
She once was the queen of the demi-monde
She was not so handsome as looks go
But talk about jazzing that girl could go
And the one pet brag of Hookshop Kate
fas that she had never met her mate
When the gold stampede caused a restless mush
Hookshop Kate got right in the rush
She cast all civilized tools adrift
lor she heard that the cocks in the north
froze stiff
And figured that guys with frozen pep
Would never have to watch their step
for conventional methods were out of date
In a frigging match with Hookshop Kate
She landed in Fairbanks on winter's night
And issued her challenge to all in sight
And all the miners who tested her powers
Were frigged to a whisper inside an hour
And the records show that before spring came
That every man in town was lame
lor no one could travel the rapid gait
That was set by amorous Hookshop Kate
With an air of contempt she sallied forth
And bade farewell to the frozen north
She headed straight for Hawaii's Isles
Where men were decked in nature's smiles
Hoping in vain that the naked truth
Would show her a man with pep and youth
But alas she was doomed to the same sad fate
lor none was the equal of Hookshop Kate
The Hawaiians placed her on a throne
And crowned her queen of the Prigging Zone
Where she reigned supreme for two short years
One morning her subjects found her in tears
When they asked the cause she only sighed
Arid they knew she longed to be satisfied
Twas then they resolved to find a mate
W&o could crimp the back of Hookshop Kate
«HOOKSHOP KATE« (cont'd)
They inserted a luring sensuous wadn
In the woman's monthly and it had
A very wondrous quick effect
In "bringing nsui of things erect
A bookseller eun:e upon the scene
And asked to be uchersd to the queen
For he claimed hb knevr of a ^otontato
Who could eutfrig great Hook'hop Kate
?Twas a sheepherdcr from a distant isle
Who had never "been terapted b, v Oman's wile
He spent his life v;i'ch v'& .,.ji luring flock
Developing "by hand hi3 phrnoT.ival cock
'Twas a daily task for -iin ".x'lcj said
To frig sixty sheep ere he went to "bed
When this happy tale reached "Gookshop Kate
She summoned this sheepish potentate
The "bookseller found hie; flat on a rock
Breaking coconuts with his r/mocular cook
And he laughed up his sleeve and placed a bet
On the frigging that Ilooksbop Kate would get
He convined the herder that :('rip;ging sheep
Was an action "base profane and cheap
As a "bookseller will he prov.c! that fate
Had called him to satisfy llDokshop Kate
When they arrived on Hawaii's shore
The town was "bedecked as never 'before
And the "band was playing to welcome them in
And all was in readiness to "begin
The herder and bookseller led the parade
[Followed "by virgins and Redlight Jade
And the whole procession marched in state
To the very door of Hookshop Kate
The fray was scheduled for ten o*clock
Meanwhile the herder tuned up his cock
By trying it out on a dozen dames
Who admitted that he was a bundle of flames
As the hour grew near the betting was great
The number of times would be marked on a slate
'Twas a frig to a finish without a wait
Much to the delight of Hookshop Kate
"BOOKSHOP KATE** (cont'd).
When the clock struck ten a 'breathless pause
The sheepherdUr entered mid great applause
In front his pants stuck out two feet
In anticipation of one great treat
While in the chamber with curtains drawn
Was Hookahop Kate just egging him on
Outside the crowd decided to wait
And see what wculd happen to Bookshop Kate
And all that night the vigil was kept
And not a single eye had slept
And the moans and groans and grunts inside
Swayed the great throng like an ebbing tide
They all left their marks on their butts behind
And not one dry spot could you find
But all sat tight to learn the fate
Of Her Frigging Highness Hookshop Kate
Next morning the bookseller came with the key
To decide what the herder1s fate should be
He found the slate as he felt in the dark
jassed it out to the crowd to examine the mark
They counted a hundred and sixty or more
Then the -bookseller threw wide open the door
then the lights went on to their surprise
This is the sight that met their eyes
With a happy smile propped up in bed■
The famous Hookshop Kate was dead
While under the bed the sheepherder guy
Jerked off at the poet without batting an eye
And he murmured at each violent jerk
And in the intervals between each squirt
nAll your Hookshop cunt you can keep
If you*il hurry me back to my lovely sheep*
—THRILLS AND SHOCKS*-
They say you may get thrills and shocks
In many different ways
But the difference between these thrills
and shocks
Is but twenty eight short days....*..,.
—THE PERSIAN" KITTY —
A Persian Kitty perfumed ami fair
Strayed through the kitchen door for air
When a torn cat lean and lithe and strong
And dirty and .yellow came along
He sniffed at the perfumed Persian Cat
And he strutted about with much eclat
And thinking a hit of time to pass
He whispered "Kiddo you've got some class"
^That's fitting and proper" was her reply
As she arched the whisker over her eye
*fI*m ribboned, I sleep on a pillow of silk
And daily they hat.be me in certified milkir
®Yet we1re never contented with what we've got
I try to he happy hut happy I*m not
And I should he joyful, I should indeed
for I am highly pedigreed11
"Cheer up** said the torn cat with a smiie
"And trust to your new found friend for a while
You need to escape from your back-yard fence
My Dear, all you need, is experience11
Hew joys of life he then unfurled
As he told her tales of the outside world
Suggesting at last with a luring laugh
A trip for two down the primrose path
The morning after the night before
The Kitty came home at half past four
The innocent loo k in her eyes had went
But on her face was a smile of content
In after days when children came
To the Persian Kitty of pedigreed fame
They were not Persian but black and tan
She told him their pa WAS A TRAVELINGS MAM
If in ,;,1 L lh] i - •-■] ; !. .i\.
And all ta«. t;ot'' 1 Jt.,. : -; ^
And if ;*07i \,.* ;'■ ji.i.1 * ';
WOULD YOU?
If you L/v1. nr^ s'.k-1 ^ T i in
And a hIxyuo^ Mr,1 <, j' Y Y *
And t icn m;j..Y.' u/ " * <•' ;.
WOULD YOU?
If all YY3 r;;>_0 I .
And I sfca./O'l *.j l !* . + n. ; ' 1
Then i t 1 h •". !,n.*, ui -
WOULD YOU?
1C I v;arii : i , - *•■' < ■ ■ \.
And v/e vjiv _ . [Y J
With n ;u_ 1 i «
r j/-\-t t r , ■» j, \ r~ ,
« i -
Aw1 tl ,i -i. ' >
He od rpbru II 11 >
jTot ->Y
But on Y; 1; o 'i
H&& t-lci v< \w Y* ^ i
« yyy jyi y -
Here' d to ,;.v o "i iO 1 "
Ke does1 tbo c ,t\\ . ^ < r '
And 1/ 1 {- \>c-r r M ■' j
We M riot i 'uc • i v " !3
«THB DIABETIC DOG—
A farmer1s dog came into town
His christian name was Runt
A no"ble pedigree had he
NOBLESSE OBLIGE his stunt
And as he trotted down the street
* Twas oeau t i fu 1 t o r e e
His worn at every corner
And his -jrork at c-ver.y tree
He watered nverj gateway too
And never min^eJ a ->o:s-t
For piddling v^as hi,; s i^cialty
And piddling was hie "boost
The city curs looked on amazed
With a deep and jealous rage
To see such a simple dog
The piddler of the age
Then all the j<og;r, rvoD e ery ilu-re
Were summoned ny a 4yell
To sni ff the uoun try e1r\r go r
And judge him oy his eLiell
Soirx thought that h, a king rjay be
Beneath hi e tai i a re se
So every city do{; clnv a igh
And enifCed 1 *. ap hi!- nose
They smelted hin :/er one by one
They ^molla him two by two
And noh J : j Run t i i i h i gh cl i ecl a 1 n
Stood still ' .rill tlu,^ v.erii thru
Then just to ehe,( the v.holc shebang
He didn't give a danu
He trotted in a groee/;/ t'oore
And piddled on a hair
He piddled in a ma e.a" re] ko^
He piddled on the j'luer
And vhen the rjr.xjer 'ilc,:-1 him out
H3 piddled tbrou-jj tee door
"THE DIABETIC DOS=» (cont'd)
Behind him all the city dogs
Lined up with instincts true
To start a piddling carnival
And see the strange rthrough
They showed him ev'ry piddling post
They had in all the town
And started in with many a wink
To pee the stranger down
They sent for champion piddlers
Who were always on the go
Who sometimes did a piddling stunt
Or gave a piddling show
They sprung these on him suddenly
When mid-way in the town
Runt only smiled and polished off
The ablest white and "brown
lor Runt was with them every trick
With vigor and with vim
A thousand piddlere more or less
Were all the same to him
So he was wetting merrily
With hind legs kicking high
When most were hoisting legs in "bluff
And piddling mighty dry
Then on and on Runt sought new grounds
By piles of scrap or mist
rTill ev,;ry city dog went dry
And only piddled dust
But ever on went noble Runt
As wet as any rill
And all the city champion pups
Were peed to a stand-still
: = rPUH3
IS JJlAKM'TXO UnQ— (e^it'd)
The Kant d i3 free-h
With fancy flirt
Like Vloublri-dvi ^
it; i pid?! it^;
* r,;rid rl :1ti3 *
tn/ ''^.'ml's L- fcv/ist
And all thos':^ sorts « ck tlrnp.s
And &11 tho tnr;, t^i s .jouy
Did never* iviH: or grin
But j;,;^n.::... ") V-th -iv c'ri, :
Ae be as mo i;3 ■■* dJ. lug -»u
r;;g
The city ■ l cj;v con7c:i 1: 0r: ] 1 u l \
To ?^\< "f.'har, rio del- < t rf,?31
But no one: i/^r vat t;h',v vru* ^
ThMt Hun:; had ' DI/^hTI: ;:j
—the cPANifei! Mjr.r.:,i.o«
Thert: onoc v ixa u 3t:'.nidj ?ihoili*r<
Who livt}'-i in cm ,u:^m..* ^'ri'rilio
He vvao \ji-cai1'5 0" Ivr trr ~r:, I-., Li? lie
And tt j ■cr'is •.-: l\i v :.^->:\U i\>m n1
One ooy he ?-0;:;. to to*; ",h :.it: j lio
And therj f.u/r u l^.c<y drnol U10
Who c;:citf £ rn'rj trr, li 1 . lillio
And the ror* s cr Mn ,;•■., -d! dma d ^ -
i-I i n 0 vy i* \' o j. k 1 * * r li 1
-i; j a_
v 4.' ■■ iw L L i. -i. i.
Ke had 0 -'iLv*? d'.F; ol 1; U ,•:! > li<,
All o:cv hi-, ;,nt 1 l, 1., ILiTi.,
And tire ;orl 'J'* I r 1 ct n : c ,ru Cie?,
Eo// Ir Kilo 'hi ' "* -ik;[i r, ^n IT i io
With hisi h a.' ; "v L ' ^ ~; i !. u, r.iAJlio
As ho •wuh,' of J h r - fr- ■ «„ :,. , j ■. j 0
Anc1 l 1 i/u'n-j ■ i * f 'l n ' [ j ,]fi , \) i/Oe
"POOR OLD DICK--
At thu close of our exist ei*ue
When wc * " c c 1 i m be -J I if J <j . u 1 clcui l I ■* i
r\s
And the ciu Lly windn ol - utuun
Rudely todb cur silvery hair
When *T/e ft* »*I our i janr o ^ ^ e ob 1 ha
And we're up to 11 f^',-* L^l ditch
And we find o>tr faith TuL PeU.r
SLeepiag soundly st tin switch
Holy Mack*rel ain't it awful
Don't it make you a^ful sic\
When the painful fact conrr.:^lB you
That you got a lifolf,;^; uLcfi?
Ainft it sad for us to know
When we take him on the st^eh
That he ne'er again will v/roBtJo
With the pussies that w«.-. <ht;c;t?
That he ne'er again will bristle
On a wet and windy da,>
When some maiden shows h^r stocking
In that naught> funrv way?
Oh my poor old loyal kingpin
How mj heart goes out to you
lor. I cannot "but remember
All the stunts you used to do
How I charmed the lovely maidens
And the dashing widows too
How you had the whole push wishing
For a little "bit of you
Don*t you think that I've forgotten
When each lovely girl you tried
I could never make you quit her
•Till she cried wI*m satisfied"
Think you then that I111 forget you
Just "because you are so dead
And hecause when I command you
You refuse to raise your head?
No indeed my valiant cornrad
Naught shall rob you of your fame
Henceforth you are just my pisser
And 1*11 love you just the same
—MY LULU"
1 wish I was a diamond
Upon my Lulu's hand
Then every time she'd wipe her ass
I'd see the promised land
I wish 1 was a pee-pot
Beneath my Lulu's bed
Then every time she took a piss
I'd see her maidenhead
My Lulu had a baby
She called it Sunny Jim
She dropped it in the pee-pot
To see if it could swim
First it went to the bottom
Then it came to the top
My Lulu got excited
And grabbed it by its cock
1 wish I was a candle
Within my Lulu's room
Then every night at nine o'clock,
I'd penetrate her womb
My Lu 1 u' s t d 11 i vti; 5 c p r i. g h 11 v
My Lulu's tall acid thin
I caught her by a r^ilroaa track
Jacking o,:t ,vith a coupling pin
My Lulu was arrested
Ten dollars was her fine
So she said to the judge
"Take it out of this ass of mine11
CHORUS
Bang away my Lulu
Bang away good and strong
Oh what311 we do
lor a damned good screw
Whan our Lulu's dead and gone?
■)
J
