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This song shares the chorus and theme of the song Oh,What A Beauty and The Marrow Song.

Ain't It A Beauty [aka The Garden Hose Song]


There ain't many men that are lucky enough to have one as long as mine.
The thing is as old as I am and still it's doing fine.
Many's the time  I think to myself, it's going on the blink.
But upon closer scrutiny, it proved to be in the pink.

I always treat it carefully, never leave it hanging about.
Before I put it away I always remember to shake it out.
And if ever I should be too week to hold it in the air.
I've instructed me wife to handle it with tender loving care.

O-o-oh, ain't it a beauty!
I have used it proudly all me life.
Oh, ain't it a beauty!
Now if you don't believe me, ask me wife.

Danny O'Toole came calling one dayy. He couldn't believe what he heard:
That mine was bigger than his was. He didn't believe a word.
I bet him a buck, I took him outside, and laid it on the street.
He couldn't believe his eyes -- it was over a hundred feet.

Last summer while I was out of work, to idle away the hours,
I used it in the neighborhood to water the neighbors' flowers.
A wee girl said she needed it bad. Could she have it for a week?
And though abused daily, it never sprang a leak.

I've used it in the summer. I've used it in the fall.
It's just around the springtime I use it most of all.
I've used in December on a cold and wintry day.
I've written me name in a snow bank half a block away.

O-o-oh, ain't it a beauty!
All the fellas envy my technique.
Oh, ain't it a beauty!
They get jealous every time they take a peek.

I must admit it hasn't been used it in four or five months or more,
But it's hanging there and it's ready as it ever was before.
If the good Lord's willing, I'll be using it for years,
'Cause it's the best length of garden hose was ever sold at Sears.

© 2003-2006 by John Patrick.  All rights reserved.  All wrongs reversed.
Last Revised: 16 September 2006   Conditions of Use.  Thank You.  Known Bugs.   

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