If you sing this song and are willing to talk of where & when you
learned it, please email me at
or call me at 1234567890. Thanks! John Patrick.
[King
of the Goddamned Isles].mp3
Into the ring jumped the King
Whosoever shall bring forth the longest penis
Shall have tea with my daughter
Not Typhoo Tea
Not Mazawattee Tea
But C-U-N-T
Into the ring jumped the Witch Doctor
And proceeded to draw forth twelve and three quarter inches of penis
On which he proceeded to balance
Two occasional tables
Three mahagonay armchairs
Four packets of Woodbines
(The only brand sold on the island)
And a bar of soap to keep the party clean
But the bosun (cunning fucker)
Brought forth fourteen and three quarter inches of penis
On which he proceeded to balance
Four occasional tables
Five mahagonay armchairs
Six packets of Woodbines
(The only brand sold on the island)
And a bar of soap to keep the party clean
"Shit" said the King
And forty thousand loyal asses heaved and strained with all their majestic
might
(For it was death to disobey a royal command)
"Stop" said the Queen
And forty thousand long, black, coiled, spirally turds hung in mid-suspension
(For it was death to disobey a royal command)
"Fuck Me" said the Princess
And sixty thousand chickens and one mangy dog were killed in the rush
And the bosun
Lay with her for forty days and forty nights
And on the fortieth day she came to him and said
"I bear thee a son
What steps shalt thou take?"
"Bloody great big ones across the desert"
And he came unto the valley of the shadow of death
And he said "Let there be light"
And there was light
And you could see for fucking miles
And he fell among thieves
But these were not ordinary thieves
For unlike ordinary thieves
The ragged him
Shagged him
Fucked him
De-bagged him
And sent him away with a sore arse
In the street of a thousand arseholes
At the sign of the Swinging Tit
Lived a beautiful Chinese maiden
By the name of Hu Flung Shit
